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The VICE Guide to Right Now: No, Hiding Drugs in Tyres and Fridges Isn't That Effective

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Your twenties are meant to be trying, but special. They're the decade that inspires your uncle to mutter "youth is wasted on the young" while you regale the family with tales of under-30s today preparing to be financially worse off than their parents, paying off university debts for years. They're the time when you're "just, like, figuring it out" while being reminded that you're an entitled brat if you'd quite enjoy things like job security or the opportunity to still be in the European Union.

Imagine, then, being in this height of your life and deciding, 'Yes, I think now is the perfect time to start hiding illegal drugs inside tyres.' Imagine no more. Late on Friday, 22-year-old John Myles from Manchester was one of nine men sentenced to a collective 73 years in prison for doing just that: attempting to conceal cocaine, amphetamine and mephedrone inside tyres at a Liverpool tyre garage, as well as storing more drugs in a fridge-freezer in a flat. In total, the street value of the drugs found in both locations was estimated at about £2 million.

An investigation by "Titan" – the collaborative organised crime unit that straddles six police forces in the north-west of England – brought the whole operation down in October. The gang were originally suspected of moving drugs around the west Yorkshire area in July 2015. Police reportedly tailed two of the men in the ring to a cafe on the 2nd of October, as they exchanged a bag picked up earlier from a flat in Garston. Once a man named as Colin Rafferty drove that bag to the tyre garage in Huyton, both Merseyside Police and Titan reportedly raided the tyre business – and found Rafferty and another man trying to shove packages of drugs between a wheel rim and tyre.

That's right. In a year when we've had drugs gangs try to move product in carpets and flower-boxes, the tyre just seemed like the next logical step. There are seemingly no limits to the creativity of people hoping to move drugs from one place to the next, and honestly it feels worth celebrating. Just this week we've heard about the man who tried and failed to hide heroin up his bum, stashed inside Kinder Eggs. And before that, there was a story from Southampton about a homeless man who allegedly squeezed coke under his foreskin before he was found by police.

People may laugh at those stories, but they all centred around smaller amounts of narcotics than this Liverpool crew. Rather than messing about with a few grams of coke here, or a few thousand pounds worth of heroin there, Myles and co were keeping more than 150kg of drugs inside that flat.

Photo courtesy of Merseyside Police

There it is.

"This is a massive seizure of what is estimated to be more than 160kg kilos of what we believe are Class A and B drugs," said Titan detective superintendent Jason Hudson, back in October. He'd initially alluded to the drugs having a street value of £25 million, since updated by the police. "This clearly represents a massive seizure of dangerous drugs that would undoubtedly have been supplied to communities across the North West and beyond".

On top of what was picked up from the fridge in a Liverpool flat, the police say they found 20,000 ecstasy pills, 4kg of amphetamine and 1kg of coke at the tyre garage business. By the sounds of things, a variety of blunders led to the collapse of the plan. The grey cab they'd used to move the drugs around ended up drawing more attention than diverting it. An initial police stop of courier Dean Davies led to police hauling 1kg of "high-purity" cocaine from his car last summer. By August, when increasing police attention threatened to derail the whole network, the group tried to get more cocaine out of Liverpool.

Things didn't go well. A second courier, Brian Laughlin, was stopped and arrested in August. Less than an hour later, according to police, our millennial John Myles tried to get another packet of coke out of Liverpool. He was driving with a "female associate" along the M62 when police followed him, arresting both Myles and his passenger in Cheshire – not before Myles tried to do one and make a run for it, getting caught "hiding in undergrowth nearby."

And now, he's become the youngest player in the game to go down, walking away from court on Friday with a three-year and four-month sentence. At least he'll still have more time in his twenties to be tutted at when he's out.

More on VICE:

What Makes Certain British Drug Scenes Far More Violent Than Others

How One Guy's Illegal U-Turn Brought Down a Cannabis Gang

A Drug Trafficking Gang That Posed as a Flower Business Just Got 125 Years in Prison


We Asked Drag Artists at a Family-Friendly Festival if Drag's Gone Mainstream

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All photos by the author

RuPaul, international drag champion and mastermind behind the hit American TV show that bears his name, recently said in an interview that drag "will never be mainstream". This weekend London plays host to a "family friendly" festival of contemporary drag, where The Glory – a queer cabaret-driven East End pub – collaborated with cultural behemoth the National Theatre. Together they're set to deliver three days of performance to the type of audience more likely to go for Saturday strolls by the Southbank than glitter their faces up for a night at Sink the Pink (perhaps to Ru's surprise).

With a collaboration on this scale, that's merging alternative culture with one of the most traditional theatre spaces, surely drag's crossed over. Rather than just take RuPaul's word for it, I headed down to the theatre to ask some of the Glory Days performers one question: has drag gone mainstream?

Edith Pilaf

I certainly think with shows like RuPaul's Drag Race, and with drag queens now getting more exposure, it's certainly going more mainstream, but I don't think that necessarily means its underground roots are being compromised. The sort of RuPaul brand of drag is very female impersonation-orientated and the fact that in east London there are women that are drag queens, means it doesn't necessarily have to be one gender pretending to be another – it's really incredible as it's become more about deconstructing gender as an idea.

A Man to Pet

Oh yes, it is definitely more mainstream than it used to be. I started ten years ago and there are more people doing it now, expressing it. It doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman either – I think everyone can express themselves a little bit better when they have some kind of outfit that changes who they are. Prosthetic boobs or a wig, it just gives you a different kind of character, and I think people are currently loving that.

Holestar

It's been mainstream for quite a few years now. Drag Race has changed the whole face of drag completely – everyone's doing it now.

VICE: RuPaul actually said drag could never go mainstream because it's so different.
Pffft, that bitch made it mainstream! And there is a place for drag in the mainstream, as transgender issues especially are changing a hell of a lot, becoming more prevalent and getting major press. I think the general public are becoming more accustomed to not living within gender binaries and the grey areas between. RuPaul is full of shit – go out there perform the shit out of it and change people's perceptions of the binaries by being fabulous.

Adam All

Yes I do think it's becoming more mainstream, but there are limits. As drag kings one of the major things we look at is breaking down those boundaries; if the boundaries weren't there then we wouldn't be able to break them. There will always be boundaries and there will always be things that need to be raised and talked about.

Baby Lame

I've already seen some little queens in the front row that are just like "I wanna put a dress on daddy, I wanna put a dress on!" So I think it looks like drag's going to take over the National. People are becoming more and more genderless so hopefully we won't even realise we're doing drag. That's what I hope it's going to be like.

Mzz Kimberley

It's an exciting time for drag because the general public are starting to see what it's is about; it's not just some men dressed up in women's clothes, going out and miming to records. They've learnt from RuPaul that just putting on makeup is an art form, being creative with the clothes, the dance routines. We don't just go out and get drunk at night time, sleep all day - no. We're not drinking, we're in dance classes, I'm in voice classes - acting classes, speech classes you name it.

Jonny Woo

Lily Savage was pretty mainstream, she was on breakfast TV, she was on Blankety Blank. That was drag going mainstream. What we're doing here with the National Theatre, I don't know if it's so much mainstream as bringing our art and our nonsense and our stupidity and being offered a platform to show it to people. And the National Theatre is acknowledging that.

What a ridiculous statement for RuPaul to make – his "Supermodel (You Better Work)" was a huge pop song. Is that mainstream? If not then what is? Crossdressing a man to a woman, gender politics aside, is still viewed by the mainstream as provocative, weird, difficult and entertaining – there is room for that in mainstream but I think that comes down to how that person behaves in the moment. The sexualised nature of performance can challenge people sometimes.

John Sizzle

It's having a renaissance since probably the 80s. I think the last time there was high-profile drag was Lily Savage during Blankety Blank and when she was doing the Royal Variety show and things like that. It's always been about hasn't it – Dame Edna and that.

Obviously there is a subversive side to it and we don't need to become so mainstream that it's completely acceptable, as it'll lose its power if it just becomes another thing that you see everyday. It has to be a bit darker and a bit naughty.


@theomcinnes

More on VICE:

The Rainbow 'Taches and Spiked Leotards of London's Drag Queens

What You Learn When You Ask Queens Why They Do Drag

Photos of the Fetish Pups and Rainbow Babies of London Pride

How Much Do Young People Care About Gentrification?

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Millennials: we have to live, work and buy coffee somewhere. Photo via the author

This article originally appeared on VICE Canada

Like most young people, I'm perpetually broke. Thanks to a crushing mountain of debt, I moved to a cheaper neighbourhood. In the short time I've been here the area has become "hipper" and the condo developers have taken notice.

It's now at a point where beautiful and expensive micro-lofts are built in the shittiest parts of town. My weird little corner of the city is not-so-subtly gentrifying, and I can't help but feel partially responsible for its transformation.

I figure not everyone feels this way. It seems much of my generation would rather patronize swanky restaurants in gentrified neighbourhoods without thinking about the people we are displacing in the process. So I asked some other millennials living and working in fast-changing neighbourhoods to see if young people actually care.

'Nobody wants to identify as a gentrifier.' Photo via Facebook

Joel, Vancouver

VICE: What's it like to be a business owner in Vancouver's Downtown Eastside?
Joel: I've worked in social housing in the Downtown Eastside for 11 years prior to opening Black Medicine Tattoo. I love this area even though it's not without its problems. There is a huge struggle related to poverty and mental health. There is a community of small business owners that is absolutely incredible. However we're currently in the middle of a tidal wave of development.

Has anything changed about the neighbourhood since you opened for business?
The most recent set of condos finished construction and they started building several more including two within spitting distance from the shop. Less people smoke crack on our street at night. High end restaurants, Starbucks, bars for the party crowd have all been recent arrivals. It's still rough, but things are changing.

Vancouver's 'tidal wave of development.' Photo via the author

Do you personally identify as a gentrifier?
Nobody want's to identify as a gentrifier. Nobody is the bad guy in their own head. I believe we cater to a younger artistic crowd as a shop. Young artistic types are the tip of the spear when it comes to gentrification. We move where we can afford to live and slowly increase its desirability until we and the historic residents of the area can no longer afford to live there. However young people have mobility in their living situation whereas the poorer residents of an area may not. We can uproot and move to another city or area if we have to. That isn't the case for many people in the Downtown Eastside.

What's the weirdest thing you've seen on the street?
I'm not going to try to impress with some fucked up tale at the heart of which is the suffering of a human being stuck in a shitty situation. It's not entertainment. However there are some weirdly beautiful things like finding parts of my girlfriend's art project built into a shelter on the side of the street. You see a lot of the raw humanity in the Downtown Eastside that people in other parts of the city manage to hide.

What is your experience with the people being displaced by gentrification in Vancouver?
Working for the Portland Hotel Society founded by Liz Evans and Mark Townsend was eye opening. Those people fought to make a home for the residents of the Downtown Eastside by transforming many of the buildings from being dirty and dangerous to safe and stable. They helped empower more people to take up that fight as well. Monied interests will find the potential to make more money wherever it exists. Right now there is potential in the Downtown Eastside. Vancouver's housing market has become insane and the increased pressure from that is being felt very deeply. What I wonder is if there is more we can create in our cities and societies to protect those who are vulnerable to gentrification.

Montreal's Little Italy: 'not totally gentrified.' Photo via Flickr user Axel Drainville

Kate, Montreal

VICE: What neighbourhood do you live in? What's it like?
Kate: Right now, I live in Little Italy. It's a really vibrant neighbourhood. I would describe it as at an in-between stage: there are really cool African grocers, some grittier areas, old, storied Italian spots, but also a bunch of new brunch spots and coffee shops opening up. It's not totally gentrified, but it's become hipper. So many cute little shops, restaurants and art galleries. Little Italy has the Jean Talon market, which is one of the gems of the city.

What do you know about gentrification in Montreal? Do you care about it?
Mile End. It's arguably the hippest neighbourhood in Montreal: it was home to Arcade Fire, Grimes, etc. It's where I lived when I moved to Montreal. I almost definitely couldn't afford to live there now, though. It used to be a cool artist community—now it's mostly yuppies. I care about it in selfish ways—I want to live where my friends are living and I don't want to eventually get pushed out because of higher rental prices—but I also care about it from a social perspective. I see a lot of people on rental Facebook groups looking for cheapish housing for entire families and be nearly totally out of luck. There's also been a downswing in community housing and on a societal level, that bothers me.

El Kartel in Vancouver's Chinatown. Photo via the author

Pablo, Vancouver

VICE: How do you feel about your role in Vancouver's Chinatown? Do you ever think you might be a gentrifier?
Pablo: I feel running El Kartel in Chinatown is only a positive thing, I don't identify myself/business as a gentrifier. The building we are in, a 1903 Heritage Building belongs to the Chinese Benevolent Society and is probably one of the nicest in Chinatown, in order for us to to come in as tenants we had to be interviewed many times and be accepted by the society. The most important thing for them was to have a business that could contribute to the revitalization of Chinatown by bringing more people to the area. They loved the idea that we always have been involved with the community and throwing cultural events.

Providing a space for local artists seems paramount to El Kartel's mission, why is that important to you?
Putting on art shows means so much to me. We've been doing them since 2003. I grew up loving art and music and ever since I had a space to showcase artist I haven't stopped. I treat the store like my house. We always have nice art on the walls and some special music playing. Supporting new talent and bringing people together makes me very happy. About every five to six weeks we change the art and we love to celebrate. Our openings are very special, we invite local DJ's, musicians, dancers and all sorts of performers and the vibes are always amazing.

Have you ever felt judged by customers for opening a business in a historically low-income community?
Not really. A few people have come into the shop with intentions to do so but they just end up dancing, looking at the artwork on the walls, and leaving with a smile on their face. When I think about it, it would be better to have more business like mine than empty spots covered in bad graffiti and full of drug dealers and crackheads outside. The community has actually been very welcoming, we have become mutual friends and customers.

Blame 'desire for the coolest, trendiest shit.' Photo via the author

Sean, Toronto

VICE: What neighbourhood do you live in? What's it like?
Sean: I live in Parkdale, which is the south west corner of downtown, specifically King St W & Dufferin. It's an area that has seen a lot of changes over the last 10-15 years. It used to be a rougher neighbourhood from what I understand. I first moved to the area in 2010 and a lot my neighbours told me that the area used to be a really poor/underdeveloped area of the city but never really explained why.

What do you know about gentrification in Toronto?
If you ask anyone that lives downtown, more than likely they can agree that Regent Park is a good example. Regent Park was well known for being a poor/low income area around the Queen/Dundas area just east of Jarvis that had housing projects. The entire area ended up getting demolished and there were plans for condos to be made within the next two years or something. I ended up moving from Toronto for a couple years and then moved back in 2014 and just recently saw the newly finished condos of the old Regent Park area and it doesn't look a single thing like the old Regent Park.

Do you think young people are driving change?
Young people may have a part in the gentrification process because of consumerism and desire for the coolest, trendiest shit. Liberty Village is a good example because of its long history of being a commercial/industrial manufacturing area in downtown Toronto, housing massive brick lofts and businesses that varied from building ammunition and bombs during both the wars to the Toronto Carpet Factory.

All of those businesses and manufacturing facilities ended up getting shut down for whatever economic reason but these beautiful spaces remained and eventually were snagged by artists and creatives. There has been a major change now though, where developers have taken over and built a shit ton of condos and jacked the price of rent up so that unless you're a rich kid, or a successful couple renting a one bedroom, it's a bit out of reach for most people.

Ah, Mount Pleasant.

Tom and Vicky, Vancouver

VICE: What makes you spend $5 on a cup of coffee instead of going to place like Tim Hortons?
Vicky: It's a taste thing. A coffee culture thing. After learning to be a barista, I've come to see things differently. Coffee is just way better at a smaller place than what you get at Tim Hortons. Vancouver is just so full of good coffee shops that you don't have to go out of your way.

Tom: There's no reason not to head to a smaller better coffee shop.

With making the choice to patronize a small coffee shop do you identify as gentrifiers?
Vicky: It crosses my mind. I work in the arts and feel like it's a huge part of the problem. But a lot of the time artists go to certain areas because of low income. That's where a lot of interesting people come together to share in interesting creative practises and more people follow suit. The retailers ride on that and push people out making it unaffordable for people like us. And it's not just here.

Tom: It's definitely happening everywhere.

Do you think you can do anything to avoid gentrification?
Vicky: It's part of a capitalist system. It's unavoidable but I do think there needs to be more regulation on when big companies come into an area that they need to be held accountable for investing in the community. There needs to be more community involvement. There needs to be more support for people who grew up in the area, or are from the area.

Tom: It's normally white privileged demographics that push these people out and these are usually people who are there out of necessity. It's got to be weird to have businesses coming in and ruining everything for some some sense of identity.

Vicky: I don't know if it's avoidable. As much as we like to critique it I don't know what we can do to stop it.

Follow Zac on Twitter.

The Forgotten Victims of the First Atomic Bomb Blast

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A outdoor museum at the White Sands Base, housing the varieties of missiles and rockets tested in the White Sands Missle Range located south of the Trinity blast.

This article originally appeared on VICE US

July 16, 1945: At 5:30 in the morning in the mountains of south central New Mexico, something shook Barbara Kent out of her top bunk bed. The 12-year-old girl crashed down on the floor of the Ruidoso, New Mexico cabin where she was attending summer camp.

"It was the biggest jolt you could imagine," says Kent, recalling to VICE the moment—71 years ago this past Saturday—that the first atomic bomb was detonated in the nearby white sands desert. "We were all sitting there on the floor wondering what happening."

Kent was one of 12 girls that had arrived days before to attend summer camp organized by their dance teacher Karma Deane. " thought the water heater had exploded so we rushed outside. It was just after 5:30 and it should have been dark—but it was like the sun had been turned on," says Kent, describing the light, brighter than a dozen suns, produced by the first successful test of a nuclear weapon.

Later that afternoon, the campers were inside the cabin when they noticed a delicate white powder falling outside the windows. "It was snowing in July," Kent remembers from her home in California. There was excitement and confusion as the girls ran outside to play in the unexplainable weather. "We were catching it on our tongues like snowflakes. Scooping the ash and putting it all over our faces."

71 years later, Kent—now 84 years old—has suffered multiple bouts of cancer and is the sole remaining survivor of the camp (10 of the 12 of died before they turned 40). "This is no coincidence," she says. Like many other Trinity Downwinders, Kent blames her health problems on the government, which did nothing to warn residents of the danger of the radiation exposure caused by Trinity. "It was so wrong of the government not to evacuate everyone when they knew this was going to happen. They never told us so we played in the thing that killed us."


The hundreds of luminarias/farolitos that light the evening sky in Tulurosa New Mexico. Each luminaria represents a member of the community that has passed away.

For many years, the cries for help of New Mexico Downwinders have gone unheard, while the impacts of the radiation on these communities are still largely unknown due to a lack of data or studies on the fallout.

According to a study on radiation releases since 1943 by the Center for Disease Control (CDC) and the Los Alamos Historical Document Retrieval and Assessment (LAHDRA), "Too much remains undetermined about the exposures from the Trinity test to put the event in perspective as a source of public radiation expose or to defensibly address the extent to which people were harmed." While conducting the study, the CDC and LAHDRA were given unprecedented access to previously classified and internal documents at Los Alamos National Labs.

"We were unknowing, unwilling, and uncompensated participants in the world's largest lab test," says Tina Cordova, founder of the Tularosa Downwinders, a consortium which has been fighting for both recognition and compensation for the dowinders in the Tularosa basin of New Mexico. This year, the Downwinders began collecting health surveys (400 so far) on rates of cancer and other other diseases that plague Tularosa Basin communities. "The effects to us are clear," she says, pointing out that everyone in her community has lost someone to diseases linked to radiation exposure.

According to health physicist Joseph Shonka, the impacts described by Cordova are likely in areas near the blast. "Trinity created more fallout than at other nuclear tests," says Shonka, who headed up the aforementioned CDC LADHA study. "At the Nevada site the closest people were 150 miles away. Here you have people 15 miles away. There is no question the exposures were higher than in Nevada and Utah."

"The people who lived in downwind of the Trinity blast were exposed to clouds of radiation that blew from the explosion," New Mexico Senator Tom Udall states in an email; Udall is a longtime supporter of the New Mexico Downwinders. "Radioactive debris fell from the sky, killing cattle and poisoning food and water, and generations of residents have suffered from cancer and other illnesses."

"From the beginning, the government has refused to take responsibility," he continues. "We can't undo the years of suffering, but we should make sure the victims receive similar recognition and compensation that other residents have received," Udall's referring to the compensation given to those effected by the Nevada Test site through the Radiation Exposure Compensation Act (RECA) and denied to New Mexico Downwinders.

This past Saturday in Tularosa, community members fanned out behind the dugout of the local high-school base ball field to take part in the 7th annual Vigil commemorating the anniversary of the Trinity test. "This year, we have 700 Luminarias," says Tina, motioning towards the small paper lanterns that dot the outfield—each light representing a Tularosa resident that has been lost to cancer.

"We have all been affected," says Henry Herrera, sitting with his wife Gloria along the first base line, their chairs pointed toward center field and the direction of the blast he himself witnessed at age 11. "I remember I was helping my dad pore water in the radiator, holding the funnel. Just as we got done with it there was was a hell of a blast and the cloud went up." The radioactive plume rose over 38,000 feet in just minutes.

Henry Herrera describes seeing the nuclear blast as a young man

Herrera's father thought it was an explosion from the nearby white sands missile range; he himself recalls being mesmerized by the massive mushroom cloud. "I watched it outside for hours. It rose up and up to the east. The bottom half kept on going but the top half pushed back and landed right here." When he saw the dust from the cloud approach the house, he ran inside to tell his mom. "I very well remember because my mom was so angry. She had just hung up our clothes on the line—you can imagine what they looked like."

"People around here were dying right and left," says Herrera, who has since lost countless friends and family to cancer, himself a survivor. "Nobody knew what was going on, they just died."

The fallout around Trinity was, according to Shonka, potentially far worse then even Hiroshima and Nagasaki. "The cap is the nuclear bomb, and the stem is all the dirt that was swept up into it," he explains, describing the iconic mushroom shape produced by a ground blast like the one at Trinity. "The bombs over Hiroshima and Nagasaki were detonated at 1900 and 1650 feet. Their stems never touched their caps, so there was never much fallout.

When you have a ground level blast like Trinity a large amount of dirt is sucked into the cloud and mixed with radioactive material. The temperatures are so hot that everything melts. As the cloud cools off, different things condense out at different temperatures. As they solidify again, they fall out."

When asked about the incidences of cancer and other deceases related to radioactive expose, Shonka said, "If you ask me if there is high likelihood that there are health related issues from Trinity, I can say yes. As for why the Nevada Test downwinders have been given compensation and New Mexico hasn't—that's a question with a political answer."

"If we were compensated, then the government would be admitting guilt" Gloria Herrera claims. "The would be admitting the fact that they bombed us first." Her husband elaborates, "We are small. We are poor. We have no political power."

Rows of luminarias representing a loved one who had died of cancer or other deceases thought to be linked to radiation exposure from the Trinity test.

For years, the voices of Trinity Downwinders were absent from political dialogue, newspaper coverage, or even public awareness. Archival research done by VICE at the Center for Southwest Research at the University of New Mexico, found numerous clipping from local papers, stretching back to the 50s, reflecting on the legacy of the Trinity Test. Yet until recently, there was no mention of the first victims of the Atomic Age.

This has begun to change.

In 2015—some 70 years after the Trinity test— the National Cancer Institute began the first-ever official health study to quantitatively estimate the number of cancer cases in New Mexico (past and future) that may be related to the nuclear test. That same year, Senator Udall took the senate floor and made an impassioned speech in support of the amendments to add New Mexico Downwinders to the government's Radiation Exposure Compensation Program (RECA).

Support has grown: Both US Senators and all 3 US house members from New Mexico are co-sponsors to the RECA amendments. But the measure has failed to advance in Congress for several years.

"Many people here have little faith in the federal government," says Tina, noting the trepidation of NM Downwinders towards both the federally funded health study and the will of congress to included their claims. "Many think we are just looking for compensation," says Cordova, "Which we deserve. "But even more than anything we want the government to acknowledge what they did. We were the first sacrifice of the atomic age. That needs to recognized and corrected."

Follow Samuel Gilbert on Twitter.

First-Person Shooter: The Definitely-Not-Sober Faces of Guests in a Colorado Hostel

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This post originally appeared on VICE US

For this week's First-Person Shooter, we handed off two disposable cameras to Nigel Peligree, a desk clerk at the 11th Avenue Hostel located in the middle of Denver's downtown. As a longtime hostel employee, Nigel has seen a variety of unique characters crash at the space—from 20-somethings passing through town on holiday to Vietnam veterans looking for a comfortable bed for a reasonable price.

On top of snapping a few pics of some regular guests, Nigel also burned through a few exposures during the hostel's Fourth of July party—during which he passed out blue and red jello shots that were "gross as hell." Here's what else happened during the weekend he shot the following photos.

VICE: What'd you get up to during the day you took photos?
Nigel Peligree: I woke up, drank two giant cups of coffee, and drove to work. There isn't a specific order of tasks that I follow every day. I'm responsible for making reservations, doing laundry, helping guests with any advice or recommendations they need, security (when needed), and keeping a nice environment for our guests.

What's your usual hotel patron like? In the photos there seem to be lots of old men.
Our patrons range quite a bit from person to person. We often have retired military guys who come to Denver to see family and friends, but aren't in town long enough to get an apartment lease. We have international travelers looking to save a couple dollars on lodging while they road trip across the country with their friends. We have extreme stoners who come to Denver to get as high as possible on our legal marijuana and marijuana products for a few days. We have guests from Denver who are in between housing and need somewhere to stay while they wait on their apartment or house to be ready. We have bands playing local venues who need a room that can fit at least four people and doesn't cost an outrageous amount of money. We bring in a diverse crowd.

What's the worst thing you've ever had to clean up?
Overflowing sewer and rain water in the basement during an extremely bad storm.

Can you tell me about your regulars?
They're generally a little older and have interesting life stories. There's a girl in her late 20s who just got a job in Denver's financial district but hasn't found an apartment because of the extremely competitive housing market. We have another guy who lives in the mountains, rents his house out on Airbnb, and comes down to the city every few weekends to hang out with his friends in the city. We have a bluegrass musician who's been coming to the 11th Ave Hotel once a summer for over ten years to play shows. We also have regular partiers who come to the hostel every few weeks from the suburbs or neighboring cities such as Fort Collins, Boulder, and Colorado Springs. They usually stay because they don't want to make the drive home after going out clubbing for a night or two. I like our regulars.

How can people book some time to stay there?
People can book with us online or by calling us. See our website for more details.

Follow Julian on Instagram and visit his website to see his own photo work.

The World's Most Poisonous Creatures Could Get You High and Save Your Life

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Christie Wilcox examining a bullet ant at the Tambopata Research Center in the Peruvian Amazon. Photo by Aaron Pomerantz

This article originally appeared on VICE US

A large dose from the dreaded Australian box jelly, a.k.a. Chironex fleckeri, can kill a grown adult in a matter of minutes. Even small jellyfish can pack potent toxin, such as the matchstick-sized Irukandji box Jelly, whose venom can kill a human in as little as four hours, though its immediate effects sometimes go unnoticed. As a species, human beings have an inborn and intrinsic fear of jellyfish, spiders, snakes, and all things poisonous. From a young age, we are conditioned to avoid these creatures like the plague, but venom and poison are more than just an organic weapon found in nature, and studying toxins can reveal a lot about life and evolution.

In her new book, 'Venomous: How Earth's Deadliest Creatures Mastered Biochemistry' (out August 9 on Scientific American/Farrar, Straus, and Giroux), molecular biologist Christie Wilcox explores the culture and history of venom. Weaving together research, personal narratives, photos, and diagrams, the author paints a vast portrait of poison, including descriptions of the venom found in spiders, snakes, octopi, urchins, Komodo dragons, duck-billed platypuses, ants, cone snails, as well as in-depth explanations on how each defense tool affects victims. Wilcox goes on to argue that the animals we grew up fearing now hold the key to life. She details how venom can be used to treat numerous ailments, such as high blood pressure and erectile dysfunction, plus illnesses that currently do not have cures.

No stranger to encounters with these poisonous creatures, Wilcox brings years of personal insight to her research and analysis. She's cataloged the venom of a myriad of creatures in locations as disparate as the beaches of Indonesia and the rainforests of Peru. By studying the evolution, adaptation, and immunity of poisonous creatures, Wilcox hopes Venomous will both lead the conversation about the groundbreaking research in the scientific community involving venom, as well as enrapture the average zoology enthusiast curious about snake bites. VICE sat down with her for a chat about her interest in venomous creatures, the medical benefits of venom, and how some cultures use venom to get high.

Christie Wilcox, photo by Aaron Pomerantz

VICE: How did you first get interested in venomous creatures?

Christie Wilcox: I've loved animals of all kinds since I can remember. I was that kid, the one you'd find chasing snakes or poking at jellyfish that washed up on the beach. The species that others feared fascinated me. But I would say my obsession with venomous animals didn't fully blossom until I was thinking about what I wanted to do for my dissertation. After I started lion fishes, I became completely infatuated with venoms and venomous animals, eager to learn everything there is to know about them.

Humans have an innate fear of poisonous creatures. When we see a snake or spider, it's like an alarm bell goes off in our head. How did this relationship develop?
We know that our relationships with many venomous animals goes back thousands of years. They are depicted in some of our earliest artwork, and appear as heroes and villains in our oldest myths and legends. But there is some evidence that our relationship with these menacing creatures dates back even further than that, to the early origins of our species, perhaps even our lineage of primates. Snakes, in particular, are instantly recognizable to humans and apes alike. We can see a snake in a picture and react with fear even before we know that we're seeing it. Even young children and infants react to videos of snakes with fear, long before they could have learned such a response from their parents, which suggests that our fear of snakes is innate, ingrained into our DNA through millennia of coevolution.

When did scientists first start cataloging and researching venomous creatures? How far do the records go back?
We have made note of venomous animals for as long as there is recorded history. Many famous naturalists, doctors, and philosophers were aware of nature's little biochemists, and often spoke or wrote of their dangers. You can find references to species like stingrays, snakes, and spiders in the writings of Aristotle, Plato, and Pliny. As scientific inquiry became more formal (the word "scientist" didn't emerge until the 1830s), so, too, did the study of venomous animals. The effects of their venoms and methods of treatment can be found in some of the oldest medical texts, dating back centuries. Still, we have only scratched the surface when it comes to the rich resource of knowledge these animals represent. Most research has focused on easily accessible venoms, leaving the vast majority of venomous species unstudied.

'Flight of the Mongoose and the Serpent Armies,' a watercolor depiction of the age-old battle between snake-eaters and their prey. Image courtesy of Wilcox.

What does this book add to the study of venom and anti-venom that was previously not available to the public?
When Greg Laden reviewed the book for ScienceBlogs, he gave it what I consider to be the highest praise possible: He said that he learned something new on every page. I think this book takes the scientific papers on venom, which scientists have access too, and translates them and presents them to the reader in an engaging and accessible way.

During your research, did you discover any weird stories or unexpected findings?
The most unexpected story was how there are people who use venoms recreationally, claiming it's a better high than heroin. In the medical literature, there are several papers describing people paying for bites from deadly species like cobras to get their fix. Cases are few and far between, but I was shocked there were any cases at all.

Could you imagine humans experimenting with venom-based drugs to get high in the future?
There's no doubt that our species has a preoccupation with mind-altering substances. So it's not surprising that people have experimented with anything they think might get them high, and venoms are no exception. I think the danger factor and difficulty of obtaining and maintaining animals for their venom has so far prevented illicit uses from going mainstream, but cases of using venomous animals recreationally can be found in places with long cultural histories with these animals, such as India. Personally, I wouldn't want to risk a cobra bite, even if it was the purest, most incredible high on Earth.

Are there any misconceptions or urban legends that you disproved or found valid while writing the book?
There are lots of misconceptions about venoms, mostly related to how to treat bites or stings. For example, you might have heard you should pee on a jellyfish sting. This is bad advice. Urine can induce stinging cells to fire, injecting you with even more potent, painful venom. Instead, you should douse the area with vinegar, which inhibits stinging. Or, you might have heard that you should suck snake venom out of a bite—not so! You're not able to remove the venom that has been injected like that, so sucking is a waste of time. Instead, focus on getting the victim medical aid.

A speckled rattlesnake, photo by Chip Cochran

Why did you think these creatures develop venom?
There are all sorts of reasons to develop venom. Some species use their potent chemical cocktails to take down prey that would otherwise be unavailable to them, while others use their toxic mixes to ward off potential predators. Platypuses even use venom in battles over females! So, "why" varies. All of these uses can be boiled down to: venom helped each venomous species survive and reproduce better than similar animals without it. Once a lineage started down the evolutionary path to creating venom, natural selection honed the toxin mixtures, creating potent and effective toxins. How they start down that venomous path remains somewhat of a mystery.

For some species, we can connect the evolutionary dots, connecting venom toxins to things like antimicrobials found in saliva. Thus, we can deduce that the venom form evolved out of a duplication event which created an extra gene for natural selection to work with. But in many cases, we don't know exactly where a toxin came from, or even how an entire venom system came to be. Venomous animals still have many secrets to tell which will further our understanding of how evolution works.

How do animals like the mongoose develop immunities?
There are two main ways that an animal can be innately immune or resistant to a particular kind of venom: either they have altered their own bodies to make it so the toxins don't work, or they produce some kind of venom-inactivating compounds in their blood. Mongooses are an example of the former path. They are essentially immune to cobra venom because they have mutations in the ion channels that the lethal toxins in cobra venoms target. Other animals, like opossums, produce special proteins that bind venom toxins, making them useless. These compounds are especially exciting to scientists, as it is possible that they could be modified and used to treat snakebites in people.

In addition to innate immunity, many animals can become resistant to venoms much in the same way vaccines make us resistant to diseases, through the production of specific antibodies. If non-lethal doses of venom are introduced repeatedly over time, the adaptive immune system may be able to create antibodies which target venom toxins, binding and removing them from the blood. This is how scientists make the anti-venoms that are used to treat the deadliest venoms. They repeatedly inject small doses of venom into an animal like a horse or a sheep and then extract and prepare the venom-binding antibodies for human injection. It's not a perfect process—some toxins aren't terribly good at activating the immune system, and thus slip through the cracks. Others are too locally toxic that it's impossible for injected antibodies to arrive at the site in time.

What does venom teach us about evolution?
Venoms are unique and fascinating adaptations. There are hundreds of thousands of venomous species littered amongst the sundry branches of the tree of life, from some of the oldest invertebrates, to insects, reptiles, mammals, and even some of our recent kin (like primates). Many of these venomous lineages evolved their toxic cocktails independently, thus by studying these groups and the toxins they wield, we can gain a better understanding of how novel adaptations arise.

We can also better understand the limits of natural selection by looking at what kinds of molecules are co-opted for nefarious purposes, such as making a venom-derived biological weapon. And lastly, in many venomous lineages, there are also non-venomous animals who have secondarily lost their toxicity, like the Marbled Sea Snake, which lost its venomous abilities. To really understand evolution, we have to understand how and why traits are lost, in addition to how and why they are gained. So by studying species that no longer bite or sting, we can gain a more complete picture of the often mysterious nature of evolution and natural selection.


The venomous spur of the platypus. Photo by Christie Wilcox

How can venom help us in the future and what can it treat?
We've only just begun to investigate how venom toxins can help us medically. Every venomous animal has a unique chemical cocktail made from dozens to thousands of compounds, many of which have pharmacologically-useful effects on our bodies, such as lowering blood pressure or killing cancerous cells. So far, there are six venom-derived drugs approved by the FDA, with many more in various stages of testing and clinical trials. So far, the possibilities seem endless. There are venom compounds which appear to tackle the world's most notorious diseases, from diabetes to Alzheimer's, and ones for more minor conditions, including erectile disfunction and crow's feet.

And that's just what we've found so far with the relatively few animals whose venoms have been characterized. There are hundreds of thousands of venomous species whose venoms have never been studied, any of whom might be harboring the next blockbuster drug. If we don't conserve our venomous biodiversity, and let habitat destruction, pollution, and climate change wipe them from the face of the Earth, then we will lose invaluable biochemical resources that we can never replace.

Follow Seth on Twitter.

What UGK’s ‘Ridin Dirty’ Means to Houston's Souped-Up Car Culture

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Image by
Rodney Hazard

This article originally appeared on VICE US

"Everything I ride original, no kits on them chops," Pimp C proudly declares on "Pinky Ring," a thick slice of Curtis Mayfield-sampling funk from UGK's 1996 opus, Ridin Dirty. The Port Arthur, Texas duo managed to make waves 90 miles down the road in Houston by applying to their music the same virtue that was paramount to the city's auto aficionados: originality.

For decades, H-Town's car culture has revolved around "slabs"—slow, low, and bangin' riders outfitted with candy paint, a fifth wheel mounted on the trunk, and rare rims outfitted with protruding spears called "pokes," "swangas," or "elbows." These aftermarket details required imaginative customization from any number of the city's experts.

In 1996, Houston already had a well-established hip-hop scene. Geto Boys put the city on the map with their unadulterated realness, and by the mid-90s, the Screwed Up Click's pitched-down, glacially-paced sound came to define the region. But by the time Pimp C and Bun B hit their stride on Ridin Dirty, they, like H-Town's custom car artists, injected even more vibrant originality into the city's culture.

Similarly to Atlanta's Organized Noize, who Pimp actually shouts out in the outro of "Pinky Ring," Ridin Dirty's production team (primarily comprised of Pimp and Scarface confidant N.O. Joe) breathed life into their beats with a heavy use of live instrumentation, hiring a number of keyboard, bass, and guitar players to bolster samples of golden-era funk. The result was a vivid document of both the good and bad—from the crystalline laments of mortality on "One Day" to the sun-kissed glory of "Hi Life"—that was to the increasingly stagnant Houston sound as slabs are to factory-made car models.

Of course, Ridin Dirty was tied to slab culture in much more than a metaphorical sense, too. References to Fleetwood 'Lacs, Mercedes Benz 600 Ss, AMG and Lorenzo rims, Yokohama tires, candy paint, and trunk-popping jump off the page as colorful scene-setting devices, as well as aspirational luxuries for the listener. Cars are so central to the album that Bun and Pimp actually appear in one on the cover, looking over their shoulders in a perfect distillation of Ridin Dirty's intoxicating blend of paranoia and pursuit of wealth.

As Bun B tells it today, he and Pimp were just like any other auto-obsessed Houstonites in '96. "Comparing, showcasing, and talking about the newest car innovations is a way to bond between Southern men and I think car men in general," he told VICE over email, going on to explain the importance of the city's car washes that offered detailing services. "The car wash is the common communal area for car people in the South. Meet up, get clean, and show your sound. The detailing took an hour tops, but guys hung out for two or three times that."

Unlike, say, the stretch Hummer in Juvenile and Lil Wayne's "Bling Bling" video, or the prohibitively expensive (starting at only $189,350!) Maybachs immortalized in the name of Rick Ross's record label, the cars UGK touted were more competitive on the street level. They actually required some work on the owner's part. Constructing slabs has become a much more attainable pursuit in the years since the album's release, thanks to specialized auto parts businesses popping up in response to fierce demand that sometimes proved violent in Houston. UGK's impact on this culture still reverberates through South Texas's custom shops today. So in celebration of Ridin Dirty's 20th anniversary, we hopped on the phone with some of the region's longtime slab artists to get their thoughts on the landmark album.

EDDIE KENNEDY, OWNER OF 3RD COAST CUSTOMS

Bun, Pimp, and I, we're all from the same area. I'm originally from Beaumont, they're from Port Arthur and put it in everybody's face. And a lot of people for a long time never knew what a slab was, but it started to get major exposure and people actually started to accept the slab scene. People in Canada, New Zealand, Tokyo— we ship swangas everywhere. There's people everywhere that want to be down with it now, it's crazy.

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Writer's Block: What It's Like to Overcome Tension and Rivalry in Bangkok's Graffiti Scene

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All photos by the author

This article originally appeared on VICE US

Part of what makes writing graffiti an exciting challenge in the the US and Europe is the fact that it's illegal. The threat of arrest makes for pounding hearts and breathless adventures. It dictates how much time a graffiti writer will spend painting a spot and forces writers to make stylistic choices. It turns graffiti from a creative pastime into a lifestyle choice and it weeds out the weak. So what if you could paint graffiti on the side of a busy street in broad daylight without permission, and no one cared?

Following my visits to Seoul and Hong Kong, I traveled to Bangkok to learn more about the history and current state of its graffiti culture. During my stay, I met up with CHIP7, a New Jersey native and founder of the illustrious MAYHEM crew (which included, among others, the late SACE, a.k.a. Dash Snow). CHIP has Thai ancestry and has been living in Bangkok full time for several years. When we sat down for coffee in the bustling Siam Square area of Bangkok, he told me,"In Thailand they have an adjective—is it suay as art. It doesn't have that criminal element that it has in other places, where somebody's house got tagged or something. In America somebody would probably call the cops in two seconds. Here, you don't really see that kind of thing. When people see you painting, they usually give a thumbs up." While I heard rumors about plans for increased police enforcement, getting caught in the act, like other police encounters, is still likely to be resolved with a few baht, the local currency, rather than official consequences. Though I asked several writers and locals about graffiti's de jure legal status in Thailand, no one could confirm an answer, as it's handled differently on a case-by-case basis.

Like most graff scenes in Asia, the Thai scene is still fairly young, but it has very distinctive roots. In part, its origins can be traced to the long-running practice by students of competing colleges to mark their territory with spray paint. "We call it institutional graffiti," explained COZ, a young Thai writer who picked up writing graffiti while studying abroad as a young teen and who has since made a name for himself as one of the most talented bombers in the region. "It looks like the LA cholo letters, but it's in Thai. They write their school names and then they beef with other schools." While these students are not graffiti writers, they introduced the use of graffiti tools in their city.

Graffiti from more developed scenes is another major influence in Bangkok, and COZ is not the only Thai artist who got turned on to it abroad. An older writer called CIDER, known for his piecing skills as much as his bubbly throw-ups, lived in California for several years in the 90s where he got connected with MSK, one of the most established graffiti crews in the US, joining the ranks of prominent members such as REVOK, SABER, and RIME, to name just a few. He returned to Thailand in the late 90s and influenced a new generation of graffiti writers who were already looking at American pop culture for inspiration.

"The graff scene really started when CIDER came back from SF," recalled COZ. "At the time, people started noticing it more—from skateboard magazines and music videos and whatnot." While a few, such as local artists CETRU and LOBATT, had been illegally painting cartoonish characters on the street, CIDER introduced the concept of primarily painting letter-based graffiti as it's done in the States. Said COZ, "He brought the modern graffiti back to Thailand and then it started developing."

Yet just as the Bangkok graff scene was starting to bloom, it suffered a serious setback about three years ago. What happened is so complicated and layered that the whole story could take up the length of a book, so we'll only provide the basic details. According to a variety of sources, Thai graff writers got swept up in beef between several warring factions of high-profile vandals from the US, some of whom had spent time in Bangkok. A few locals decided to take sides, and others got drawn into it by association. As a result, the graff scene in Bangkok became stifled by division, distrust, and tough-guy posturing that imitated the attitudes of American writers. The most visible outgrowth was that writers dissed each other's work all over the city. It was ugly, literally, and according to comments I heard from one writer who asked not to be mentioned by his name, it set back the scene by as much as five years.

Fortunately, as the dust gradually cleared over the last year or two, a distinct new crop of relatively young writers saw an opportunity to distinguish themselves with solid work. And while a few kids still play tough guys and war over imaginary turf and other beef, some young Thai writers—among them COZ, FLORE, BEKOS and ROMES—are following in CIDER's path and painting graffiti that would look at home in New York's Lower East Side as much as on Bangkok's streets, where graffiti has become ubiquitous in the city's central shopping districts and along some of its canals.

As I discovered, painting missions in Bangkok are often more relaxed than in other places. One afternoon, I climbed aboard one of the boats that serve as an important transportation method on the city's many canals along with SADUE 907, another American transplant who now calls Bangkok home, in order to meet up with CHIP at a painting spot further out.

It was the middle of a heat wave, and a rain storm had temporarily cleared the air. We found CHIP and, armed with ice-cold cans of Thai beer, which we drank through straws, according to local custom, proceeded to a spot right on the canal. As the sun slowly set, CHIP and SADUE worked on their pieces, inviting curious glances from pedestrians and passing boats. CHIP painted his distinctive letter-based moniker, filled with wild colors and tricked out with spacey patterns and a tribute to the recently-deceased Prince.

Inspired as much by traditional Thai art as futuristic fantasyscapes conjured by his restless mind, CHIP's graffiti is a cultural hybrid that has become his trademark style in recent years, opening doors to other creative and commercial projects. He is currently working on a short live action film that will accompany a mixtape of music he composed, and he's also produced artwork for global brands such as Red Bull. That said, his ethos remains grounded in the illegal bombing sprees of his youth.

CHIP was positive overall about the prospects for Thai graff culture. As in other Asian countries, there is a temptation to turn short-lived graffiti careers into more lucrative endeavors. Nonetheless, he told me, "there are a lot of really talented artists here! All the temple murals, all this intricate stuff is quite ingrained in the culture, and it's part of the national identity." With time, the Thai graff scene has a unique opportunity to take advantage of lax law enforcement and inject color and creativity into the vibrant urban fabric of Bangkok, forging a distinct legacy in an increasingly internationalized outlaw culture.

See more photos from Ray's visit to Bangkok below.

Ray Mock is the founder of Carnage NYC and has been documenting graffiti in New York and around the world for ten years, publishing more than two dozen limited edition zines and books. Follow him on Instagram.


A Brief History of Prison Staff Having Relationships with Inmates

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In case you were wondering, if you send a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey to an inmate and also happen to be a nurse who worked in the prison where they're incarcerated, you could wind up banned. This week, 40-year-old nurse Kimberly Hinde picked up a one-year ban for misconduct in public office for doing as much. Of course it wasn't just the book that ended up costing Hinde her job but the fact she'd been found engaging in a relationship with the inmate in question, back in October 2013.

It seems Hinde isn't the only one: even the most cursory glance online can open up pages worth of stories featuring prison staff getting romantically involved with inmates – and often paying the price for it by ending up on the other side of the cell.

Power can be intoxicating in the right situations but what actually seems to be behind the ubiquity of these cases? In normal circumstances, a murderer doesn't seem that attractive a partner – we have a tendency to base our perceptions of people's personalities on their past behaviour, and as a recent Invisibilia podcast episode explored, that can often entail a quiet revulsion towards convicted violent criminals. It doesn't seem like the prime situation in which to feel turned on.

Elie Godsi, a consultant clinical psychologist and author of Violence and Society: Making Sense of Madness and Badness disagrees. "You've got to understand that people aren't murderers all the time, they do things under certain circumstances. They aren't always like that. So they won't see them in the circumstances under which they were violent."

Could that be the case for Anita Whittaker? The 53-year-old prison officer was sentenced to 15 months in jail last May after having an affair with an inmate incarcerated at HM Wormwood Scrubs in London. Whittaker was caught exchanging love letters and amorous texts with Kazadi Kongolo, 35, who'd been jailed in 1999 when he was found guilty of stabbing a teenager to death.

But Godsi also attributes some of this sort of attraction it to "forbidden fruit". "It's really about being excited or attracted by the fact that something is forbidden so it becomes their little secret, something only they know about and which no one else could possibly understand. A 'we love each other against all obstacles' kind of thing."

But what makes staff – guards, nurses – actually invest in these relationships? A lot of the effort is rooted in fantasy, according to Godsi. You can see his point. After all, these couples don't have to contend with the libido-wreckers that ordinary ones have to. They exist in what he calls a "suspended-reality environment, at one level."

He goes on: "You don't live with them, you don't watch them pick their nose, you don't watch them go to the toilet, you don't argue about who does the dishes. It's completely unreal. They're seeing each other in a very limited environment so they can be at their best because what they see of each other is limited."

It's a relationship formed in a completely different boundary-setting that can't survive in the real world. Almost invariably, it's going to end in tears

It's for this reason that Godsi's sceptical that these sorts of couples couldn't necessarily thrive in the 'real' world. That's not to say that all don't, though – just take this female prison guard who says she married an inmate convicted of second-degree manslaughter. They first got together in 2002, before getting married about three years later. That case feels more like an anomaly, as far as Godsi's concerned.

"When people come out and try and have a relationship, it's extremely unlikely it's going to be successful because the strains of being in the real world kicks in. It's a relationship formed in a completely different boundary-setting that can't survive in the real world. Almost invariably, it's going to end in tears."

Obviously, a skewed power dynamic can play its part too, and can often vary depending on the gender of those in the relationship. A 2012 Ministry of Justice study on the family backgrounds of 1,435 newly sentenced prisoners – of whom 1,303 were male – found that 24 percent had been in care at some point in their childhood.

The study also found that 41 percent of the convicts surveyed had observed violence at home while 29 percent had experienced abuse. For male inmates at least, that represents the opportunity for straight female officers to fill an emotional void, as per Godsi's reasoning. "A female prison officer may sense that and may want to make that better in a maternal way," he says. "They sense the vulnerabilities and distress and difficulties the inmate has. They want to mother them. They want to heal them. But I don't think they're setting themselves up as a saviour."

Perhaps that's why the majority of cases that hit the headlines more often than not seem to be female prison staff. Prisoner officer Dawn Sheard wasjailed for 10 months in May after being found to be sexually involved with an inmate while on duty, while in 2012, newspapers reported that prison officer Zanib Khan had juggled exchanging sexually charged calls and letters with four convicts.

WATCH: Jailed for Life for Minor Crimes – the UK's Forgotten Prisoners

For women inmates, though, the power imbalance can be fraught with feeling pressure to create a transactional relationship based on the inmate earning perks and privileges. An inmate speaking anonymously to the Guardian in 2009 said that she'd regularly perform blow jobs in exchange for 'rewards" – namely vodka and drugs. When asked if the relationship was consensual, she replied: "In a way, I suppose. I knew what I was doing; but I wouldn't have looked at him on the outside and only did it for the burn and the vodka. He was a bit arrogant and there were times when I fantasised about biting his cock off."

Another woman interviewed in the piece suggested that by not giving in to the staff's advances, she could scupper her chances of an being let out earlier. "It was part and parcel of prison life," she said. "If you are not going to buy into the approaches made by staff, you will not progress, you will not get the good jobs, or get on the courses that will help you get early release." Essentially, it's as Godsi says: "You can't give consent properly in a relationship where there's a power imbalance."

As for Hinde, she'll be able to return to nursing in a year's time but rest assured, there'll be more like her: high on power, fuelled by fantasy and in a complex emotional web that will endlessly make for red-top newspaper fodder.

@its_me_salma

More on VICE:

Why Do Female Prison Guards Keep Having Sex with Inmates?

How I Break Prison Rules to Keep in Touch with My Family

What British Prison Life Is Like When You're Filthy Rich

Pupdates: Inside a Fetish Kennel in Upstate New York

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All photos by the author and Thomas McCarty

This article originally appeared on VICE US

When I met Pup Scrubs at the Cleveland Leather Annual Weekend (CLAW), he was non-verbal, only speaking in barks, and he sported full football pads as well as a custom-made sports jersey that read "Raptor Pups" on the front and "Pup Scrubs" on the back. At the convention, the pup carried a dog bed stuffed with plush toys, and I saw him curled up for a dognap during one of the lectures at the event. Days later, on the eve of the convention's closing, Pup Scrubs hopped on to the couch I was seated in before proceeding to nuzzle my lap. We cuddle in silence for a half hour before he popped his head up and asked me about my column, Pupdates.

After a lengthy conversation about the extremes he went through researching and purchasing his gear and the time he went to Alaska to live out a cold weather gear fetish, I knew Scrubs was a truly a good boy and wanted to get to acquainted with him outside of the convention setting.

After talking online at length, Pup Scrubs invited me to upstate New York for a visit at his one-of-a-kind kennel. Most pups in the community only know Scrubs as a non-verbal puppy who's always masked, so it was a rare privilege to be invited up to his home and learn about his lifestyle. We stayed the weekend in the sprawling, cobalt blue estate, tucked into the countryside along the coast of Lake Ontario. The secluded lake and forest allow the pup to don his functional fetish gear in the environments where he enjoys the equipment best.

In other words, it's a dream playpen for a pup to live in year round. After Pup Scrubs picked me up at the Greyhound bus, we spent the weekend learning about the functions and applications of different pieces of fetish gear, as well as ways to ride out the inevitable collapse of industrial civilization, a hot-button issue for Scrubs. As we ran on all fours through the forest and doggy paddled in the lake, I got an up-close look at the home life of a pup who was truly dedicated to the lifestyle. Below is an edited transcript of our conversations, as well as photos from my visit to Pup Scrubs' pup haven.

VICE: Who's a good boy! Tell me about your pup name and how you decided on it?
Pup Scrubs: My pup name is Pup Scrubs, and I didn't decide it. No self-respecting pup gives themselves a name—a handler or an alpha has to give you a name.

How did your handler decide on your name?
Because scrubs are my favorite thing to wear, and it's probably the gear I wear most often. I'm wearing them now, of course!

You have a lot of different kinds of gear looks as a pup. Can you remember the pup gear you were first infatuated by?
The first gear I was infatuated by, and always will be infatuated by, was football gear. A complete set of football gear was the first I ever bought with my first credit card when I was 18. When I'd see football on TV, or see football players in the locker room at school, I just knew I always liked big, padded football gear. I always will enjoy football gear, but it's not very practical to wear around the house on a daily basis. Scrubs are practical.

How do you see the different looks playing into Pup Scrubs as a fleshed-out character?
I would say that they're all expressions of the same character. They're just different flavors and that's often how I'll refer to them—football Pup Scrubs, camo Pup Scrubs, or even proximity Pup Scrubs, which is firefighting proximity gear, like what firefighters would use during a high-intensity fire. There are many different flavors, and they're all variations on the theme that is Pup Scrubs. They're all different ways of highlighting certain aspects of my personality.

What do you do when you're not a pup?
I work. It's not really fun to talk about. Unless I'm on a video conference call, I have my collar on at all times. I always keep a little bit of pup with me. And when I write to my employees, we use puppy terms, bonuses are called Scooby Snacks, we do wags, we don't hold people's hands, we hold their paws. In very small, modest ways, I try to bring my pup-ness into my work.

What brought you into the pup lifestyle?
I was looking through the catalog of hoods. While browsing, I saw a puppy hood available to buy. I remember distinctly thinking, That must be the stupidest thing I've ever seen! Who would ever want to wear a hood like that and make themselves look like a puppy? This was before I met a pup. I always liked dogs. I always liked the simplicity of interacting with them, but it wasn't until I actually put a pup hood on and got into puppy head-space for the first time that something clicked. I realized it was just who I was. In 2004, I met my first handler, the one who gave me my pup name, and that really helped awaken my inner pup.

One of the outfits we photographed you in was this big red-down coat that you acquired as part of a cold-weather pup outfit. Can you tell me about your cold-weather gear fetish and how that plays out during the actual winter?
It's the ultimate kind of gear. It's big, fluffy, and extremely comfortable. Cold weather can be a magical time to explore nature and interact with people in really special ways. Once, I went to northern Alaska to commune with the Inupiat Eskimo population and find my inner pup spirit. I got myself kitted up with the finest down gear before going to the northernmost city in the entire US. I timed it to be the coldest time of the year and I spent 34 days in Alaska during their 30 days of darkness. It was a real magical time.

Can you tell me about the float pod you keep at the kennel, as well as your two different sleeping methods?
Recently, I've acquired my aqua crate, which is a float pod . What a life-changing experience floating is! It allows me to enter a state of zen and really bring my inner pup to the surface. I also have an outdoor crate on my patio that's really nice. I can put a big, fluffy sleeping bag in it. The colder it gets, the more comfortable I am out there because I can actually cocoon myself in a big down sleeping bag, and I have a powered respirator that injects air into a gas mask that I wear all night while I'm sleeping.

You've told me that you want to impart lessons of wisdom to younger pups. Do you have a pearl of wisdom that you could give to the pups reading this?
People will want to marginalize your puppy personality. It's easy to be dismissive of it, and to say, "Well, this is just you being silly." But don't be afraid to be yourself. Don't be afraid to change sometimes, even if that means the people you're hanging around with. The pack that you're with can make all the difference.

Right now, I'm happy, but I had to take a few years away from the pup lifestyle because my husband actually really isn't that into puppy play. His disinterest almost beat the pup out of me because he just wasn't willing to engage in it. But then I met the right group of people, and my inner pup just woke right up, stronger than ever. I've been contacted by people who're having a hard time communing with their inner pup, and the most important thing is to believe in yourself and get your pup on. If the people in your life can't accept you for who you are, you need to find different people who will. You can suppress it all you want, but you're still gonna be a pup. It's a beautiful thing, it's one of the best parts of my life, and I wouldn't give it up for anything.

Visit Zak's website for more of his work, and see more photos of his visit to Pup Scrubs' kennel below.

​‘No Man’s Sky’ Isn’t Out Until Next Week, But This Guy May Have Already 'Finished' It

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All images courtesy of Hello Games.

No Man's Sky—the space exploration game coming to PS4 and PC in just over a week's time—has a strange sort of energy around it right now. Look at forums, subreddits, and social media and you'll find a mix of messianic hype and joyfully vocal disdain. The game's fans tout its scale: NMS offers a universe of planets to explore and lifeforms to catalogue, and it does this with a technique called procedural generation, which uses algorithms to instantly create content that would've previously taken an artist hours to build.

But thanks to Reddit user daymeeuhn (who bought a leaked copy of No Man's Sky from eBay for $1250 plus shipping), we now know that while the game's universe may be "nearly infinite," the game itself can be "beaten" in about 30 hours. At least that's how long it took him to reach the centre of the galaxy—which NMS developer Hello Games has stated is the game's de facto objective.

It's a little harder to nail down the promised length of the game, though. Back in December 2014, studio founder Sean Murray said that it would take between 40 and 100 hours to "reach the centre"; but this past March he told Gamespot that it would take players hundreds of hours of gameplay to reach "the centre of the universe". In both cases, he underscored that those figures would reflect a single-minded strategy, with players "doing absolutely nothing else but traveling forward and ... min-maxing it".

Between these statements and the marketing-fuelled (and fandom-sustained) hype about the game's size, some players expected No Man's Sky to be a daunting epic. The reality is more restrained, especially since daymeeuhn reports (in a pretty spoiler-heavy series of posts) that he made his sprint to the centre after completing many of the other tasks in the game, implying that Murray's insistence on a single-minded travel strategy doesn't necessarily hold up.

But when you read his posts, daymeeuhn doesn't seem as obsessed with the question of scale as the rest of the internet is. He's more interested in talking about the cool sounds he's heard, the frustrating bugs and design decisions he's encountered, and the disconnect between fan anticipation and reality. "Expectations on this game seem a bit over hyped," he writes, "and not because 'the game is bad' but rather because I think expectations don't necessarily match the gameplay style of what's actually here." All told, he's generally positive, but is hoping for a day one patch to fix some of his issues with the game—a possibility we should all keep in mind as we read his impressions.

There's also, of course, the question of whether or not daymeeuhn has really seen the end. I say "of course" because as with so much else to do with No Man's Sky, what counts as "the end" is nebulous. When Murray said it would take hundreds of hours to reach "the centre of the universe," is he separating that claim from the one about reaching the centre of the game's (first?) galaxy? Maybe daymeeuhn's only seen the final moment of the first step of a longer journey.

This vague feeling of possibility around No Man's Sky has been its greatest strength in finding fans, but also alienated people who want more specific answers about the game's structure and goals. I feel myself torn between these poles constantly. On the one hand, I think I have a pretty solid understanding of the "sort of game" NMS is—and I anticipate having a pretty good time with it once it launches. But when I see those fans who have convinced themselves that this is it, that this is the last game they'll ever need, I feel like Hello Games and Sony (remembering that the game is also coming to PC) have lost control of their messaging.

Don't get me wrong. I don't think that Hello's intention was to make a game that could be played forever. It seems, instead, that they wanted to capture a feeling of exploration that could only be achieved by dropping the player into a sea of stars that can never be fully mapped. But that goal runs headfirst into the techno-utopian culture's desire for the "last game I'll ever need".

The Last Game: one infinite leisure product that can be a permanent, pleasurable escape from our bills and our bodies, from our politics and our pain. It is not so different from the desire milked by films like Interstellar, which promised us that while "mankind was born on Earth", with all of its dirt and hunger and difficulty, "it was never meant to die here". We want to ascend so badly; to procedurally generate an escape. But the challenging truth is that we aren't going anywhere anytime soon—and more, that wherever we go there we'll be, with all of our dirt still on us.

Rock Paper Shotgun's Graham Smith elegantly croons for a world in which No Man's Sky never releases, so that it might keep all this potential energy and never become a real, fallible, human effort that—no matter how hard the work or how ambitious the vision—can never live up to the "shared dream" it has become in these days before release. I respect that approach, but it's not for me.

Instead, I hope that No Man's Sky comes out and that it's pretty damn good, both on its own merits and in the context of the games that came before it. I hope that No Man's Sky moves me with its colours and craters and creatures. I hope that its mathematic geometries woo me, and that its endless beaches and skies seduce me. But I do not need transcendence. NMS doesn't need to be groundbreaking—we broke this ground a long time ago. Instead, I want it to be another solid brick in the wall of culture and expression that we've been building for a long time.

Read more about No Man's Sky on VICE here. Follow Austin Walker on Twitter.

Think Before You Ink: Lessons People Learned from Their Dodgy First Tattoos

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Rosie Evans and Sam Layzell in MVL Tattoo

A lot of people get their first tattoo at a fairly young age. This – no matter what you scream at your parents the day after your 16th birthday – is not the best idea. Think about the other stuff you did as a teenager. Think about whether or not you would, as an adult, tape a 2L bottle of horse-piss cider to each hand and not have them un-taped until you've finished the both of them. Consider: would you still attach a Punkyfish wallet to your person with a ball-bearing chain?

Same goes for tattoos: aren't you glad, in retrospect, that you never got that hand-drawn portrait of Tom DeLonge permanently scarred into your skin forever? Or that really earnest quote about all the hardship you'd already endured as a private school student in rural Surrey?

Tattooist couple Sam Layzell and Rosie Evans run a cosy little studio in Leeds called MVL Tattoo. They're fully acquainted with the common pitfalls of the first tattoo as they're often asked to cover up unfortunate decisions. "Do your research," says Rosie while tattooing a rat climbing up a skull onto a client's left arm. "Make sure you really know the person you're getting your first tattoo from. You should be well aware of the kind of stuff they do and their competence level beforehand. Seeing some of their healed tattoos also wouldn't be a bad idea."

Sam nods his head in agreement: "Yeah, I wouldn't be afraid to travel for the tattoo you want. If you really like someone's work but they live on the other side of the country, it isn't too hard to get a ticket. It's better to go to a person who does work that you know you like, rather than trying to get your local guy to emulate it."

"I wouldn't advise drawing a design yourself and taking it in to get done," says Rosie when I ask about some of the likely causes of regrettable first tattoos. "That's like going to a dentist, having done half the job already. Allow the artist to work on the design for you because a good picture on paper will not always look good on the skin."

Both Rosie and Sam agree – shockingly – that getting a new tattoo while on holiday with your mates almost never ends well, and not just because you're likely to be shitfaced when you're choosing the design. "A lot of the big no-nos when it comes to tattoo aftercare involve things you will encounter while you're on holiday," Rosie explains. "You're likely to be submerged in water in the pool or the sea, be exposed to the sun and you might find it hard to keep it clean in beach or clubbing environments."

So there a bit of wisdom from the experts, but I was also interested to hear from some people who'd disappointed their mums at a very young age, and find out the lessons they learned from getting their first tattoos.

MACCA, 26

It was my mate Greg's fault. We were both 18 and drinking during the day in Blackpool. We decided to have a kip before we went out. I woke up with my hand over my face and straight away noticed that I had the word "STEAMER" on my wrist, but it just looked like someone had written it in normal handwriting with a biro – it wasn't even straight.

I tried rubbing it off then realised what I'd done. I didn't remember a thing. So I woke Greg up and he remembered and started laughing – he had exactly the same tattoo. He spent the next month at home with a sweatband on so his mum couldn't see it.

I suppose the lesson I learnt is: don't do it pissed, think about what you're doing and don't get anything big that can't be covered.


CEZ, 23

When I was 18 we were chilling in an abandoned orphanage. We had some spray paint and someone sprayed that design on the wall. Being 18 we thought it was hilarious, and we all started drawing that image – a guy bending over with his bollocks out – everywhere. We got pissed up one night and I said, "I'll just get it tattooed," and I did. It's really funny, but I've got a daughter now. I can't have that on me any longer.

My advice would be: think about it more, I guess. And if you think of an idea, put your research into the right artist who will be able to do it.


*PAUL, 27

I'm from a suburb that has practically no crime at all. There was a running joke with my mates where we would jokingly tell people that we were in a hardcore street gang called the "Greenie Posse". We'd always argue about who had "top boy" status in the group. Apparently this is really funny when you're in your mid-teens.

Anyway, here are the events that led to me having an uzi tattooed on my chest: we were all going to Bolton one day because my mate was getting a tattoo. On the bus journey we were taking the mick, talking about how funny it would be if we all got gang tattoos. Then it was like, "Well, if I got the tattoo I'd definitely be Greenie's top boy." So I was like, "Why not?" That was years ago now and I don't regret it, but I'm not glad I've got it either. I couldn't go to the beach and feel comfortable taking my top off.

Joke tats are only funny for a certain amount of time. It soon wears off and then, instead of making a joke, you become the joke. A joke you're not in on. I mean, imagine if I got randomly sent down now – I'd be fucked; they'd think I was actually a gang member.


BECKY, 27

I originally drew the design myself; a really simple black outline of a heart, which I wanted on my wrist. That was definitely the done thing in the emo epidemic of 2007. At the time I was 19 and was hanging around this tattoo shop quite a lot because I was seeing the body piercer there. I guess I was influenced by being there with people that were all covered in tattoos; I decided I had to get one.

When I took the design in they said, "We'll just spruce it up" to make it a bit better. I agreed. But when I returned a week later it had turned into a shaded, full-colour black and red design. I basically went with it because I was young and stupid and surrounded by these cool people with heaps of tattoos. I clearly wanted to be part of the gang.

I've had six sessions of laser now and it feels like being stabbed with a hot needle and being burned with oil at the same time. It's nearly gone. If you're going to get a tattoo, stick with what you really, really want and don't let other people influence you to change it or make it bigger.

*name changed at the request of the subject

@oldspeak1

More on VICE:

Why the British Tattoo Industry Has Beef with 'Tattoo Fixers'

These Are the Most Popular Bad Tattoos in the UK and Ireland

People with Face Tattoos Explain Their Ink

It Just Got Easier to Convict Your Online Troll in Australia

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The Tinder profile that first sparked Zane Alchin's threatening comments. Image via Facebook.

This article originally appeared on VICE Australia/New Zealand

It's been more than a year since a Facebook fight landed 25-year-old laborer Zane Alchin in front of a judge, charged with "using a carriage service to harass, menace or cause offense." His victim, Paloma Brierley Newton, was in court Friday, July 29, to watch his sentencing.

Facing three years in prison, Alchin escaped jail time with Sydney's Downing Centre Local Court putting him on 12-month probation. "We still had a huge win," Brierley Newton told VICE. "We got a conviction."

In the judgement, Magistrate William Pierce conceded Australia needs better laws around online harassment, explaining the current legislation was designed for angry ex-boyfriends over the phone. However, Brierley Newton told VICE she has serious concerns about how the judge handled the case.

She explained the magistrate went into an extended soccer metaphor, which was lost on her. "He kept saying like, 'In the grand scheme of the big game, Alchin had only made a small indiscretion,'" she said.

Some of Zane Alchin original comments via Facebook

Brierley Newton also said Magistrate Pierce had "slut shamed" Olivia Melville, the young woman whose Tinder bio first kicked off the conflict with Alchin. Back in 2015, Alchin commented on a screenshot of Melville's bio, which referenced Drake's lyrics from the track "Only." It read, "Type to wanna suck you dry and then eat some lunch with you."

" said she'd made a sexually explicit comment on her Tinder," Brierley Newton said. "That she was a woman of 'low morals' or whatever he wanted suggest with that." According to New Matilda Magistrate Pierce referred to the lyric as "a somewhat inflammatory comment," eliciting gasps from crowd in the court, which also included Melville.

Brierley Newton said it was hard to watch Alchin's lawyer, Sophie Walsh, argue the troll was the real victim in this situation, a position she believes the judge accepted. The court was told Alchin was in counseling, that he'd had to face telling his grandparents about the charges, and his girlfriend had needed to take time off work.

Walsh argued that by going to the media, Brierley Newton was "inciting harassment" towards the 25-year-old man. The judge also told Brierley Newton she'd taken part in a "vast overreaction."

Some more of Alchin's comments. Image via.

"I think it's the whole intrinsic idea that women are hysterical, emotional... I'm not emotional, I'm angry," Brierley Newtown said, rejecting the judge's criticism. "Alchin got this much attention was because his comments were so disgusting."

From Brierley Newton's perspective, Alchin's comments were explicit rape threats, ranging from, "The best thing about raping a feminist is that they don't get any action so they are 100 times tighter" to "I'd rape you if you were better looking."

However, his lawyer argued that his client had been drinking during the morning of the online battle and his comments weren't serious. "In his mind, he was defending his friend against these feminists," she told the court. "We say he was doing it to be deliberately offensive, there was no truth in his words."

Image via Facebook

"It's deflating to see that structurally we live in a world where men rape women... but our system doesn't seem to see the kind of incremental damage these attitudes towards women are having," Brierley Newton said in response.

"I think the judge had an opportunity today to make a point about the attitudes women face today, and I don't think he did that."

Brierley Newton said she plans to keep working with the group Sexual Violence Won't Be Silence, which has grown from the small organization that first launched a petition against Alchin.

Paloma Brierley Newton, left. Image supplied.

While Alchin may not have received any jail time, securing a guilty verdict is a significant step for fighting online harassment law in Australia.

"It's not about punishment, it's not about retribution, it's about changes," she said. "We need to keep pushing against it. If you see something, and you don't think it's right, don't just let it slide."

Follow Maddison on Twitter.

Playing WWII Sim ‘Hearts of Iron IV’ Makes the Modern World Look Like It’s On the Brink

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Screenshots courtesy of Paradox Interactive

A spectre is haunting Europe – the spectre of fascism. Or maybe it's the spectre of terrorism, nativism, Russian irredentism, or any number of other unpleasant isms. But it's clear the world is on the brink, and no country, not even a United Kingdom or United States now seemingly on paths to isolationism, can do very much about it.

This is where the world stands in 2016. And it is also where the world stood in 1936, which is when the storyline of the recently released World War II simulation Hearts of Iron IV begins.

Paradox Interactive, the game's publisher, has relied on its ever-expanding suite of grand strategy epics (the open-ended space empire builder Stellaris was released this year, too) to build a corporation able to float 15 percent of its stock on Sweden's NASDAQ. All of the company's games are different, with different resources to manage and technology trees to research, but all of them are fundamentally the same. Because the world you inherit in each one is always a world on the brink.

'Hearts of Iron IV', release trailer

In Crusader Kings, the vast, disjointed empire forged by the Frankish king Charlemagne has begun to fracture, and Islamic expansion threatens both Western and Eastern Europe. In Europa Universalis, the great city of Constantinople is about to fall, and little seems likely to stop the advance of the Ottoman Turks. Victoria takes Europe's great powers through an age of empire building, culminating in the chaotic Great War that sets the stage for Hearts of Iron. Stellaris, I guess, constitutes the futurist instalment of this epic history, a chance to extend a now-spacefaring mankind's destiny to the stars and beyond.

Every moment of each of those games amounts to a crisis point; every decision has consequences that can resonate months or centuries later. Hearts of Iron IV is the most immediate of these, with gameplay simulating the hours of the day as the player proceeds from 1936 to 1948.

The USSR arguably won the war for everyone else, but since victory came at the highest of all possible costs, I assumed that with the benefit of hindsight I could surely do better.

In this game, WWII is mere years away, and nothing can prevent its occurrence. In my first playthrough, I used the Soviet Union, a large but backwards nation-state being propelled irresistibly into the future by the storm of progress. The USSR's role in WWII is downplayed in US, but through a combination of poor generalship and worse leadership, it managed to lose over 26 million people during the period covered by Hearts of Iron IV.

Yet the USSR also arguably won the war for everyone else, at least the war in Europe, by virtue of its ability to rapidly re-establish its industrial operations east of the Ural Mountains and then toss wave after wave of men and materiel at the German military. This victory came at the highest of all possible costs, so I assumed that with the benefit of hindsight I could surely do better.

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On the front lines with international volunteers fighting ISIS in Syria

And I suppose I did do better, at least according to how Paradox measures such things. I completed my purge of Leon Trotsky and his faction almost immediately, then invested heavily in factory output, tank and plane technology, and the defensive "people's army" military concept.

I also tried to approach my foreign policy in a thoroughly realist manner, as various neoconservative and neoliberal wonks often claim to be doing. It didn't make dollars and sense to wage war against Germany and Japan, so instead I initiated a "lend-lease" program to subsidise their military efforts and focused on maintaining decent relations with both countries. The actual German advance had cost millions of Soviet lives, so it made little sense to directly engage with them.

As I made my uneasy way from 1936 to 1948, a question kept nagging at me: why must all of Paradox's grand strategy efforts come down, in the final analysis, to manpower and superior military technology? Over the course of their various games, I had played everything from dukes to galactic viceroys, but my road to victory was always the same: seize resources, always militarise, and be willing to make strategic sacrifices.

Ideology matters in Paradox's games, since some of the bonuses and modifiers associated with ideology groups can make or break you. In the end, however, every player becomes a fascist dictator, and the best of these dictators are also vicious imperialists. I still vividly recall the night when, during a game of Europa Universalis IV, one of my best friends said to me, "Oh, I've had my eye on those gold mines in Mombasa for a couple decades. We absolutely need to get them."

And so the two of us, both dyed-in-the-wool leftists, tossed hundreds of thousands of simulated souls against a heavily fortified coastline thousands of miles from our European home bases – all to secure the revenue stream we needed to finish carving up the rest of the world between ourselves.

In Hearts of Iron IV you run the show, but that show is a ghoulish bloodbath, and the winner is simply the last hegemon standing.

In Hearts of Iron IV, I was a far worse communist than the real-life Joseph Stalin ever was. That guy, though badly off his rocker by the late 1930s, had at least been something of a true believer as he rose through the party ranks. I had no ideological pretensions; I merely wanted the Baltic States and all of Scandinavia, and I didn't want to fight the United States or Germany if I could help it.

Since this was my first playthrough, I botched a number of operations. I didn't figure out supply lines until late in the game, messed up a naval invasion, never used paratroopers, and my construction queues remained a mess. However, the country's "national focuses" ensured I kept reinforcing and resupplying, allowing me to hammer away at Scandinavia while lend-leasing tanks to Germany to kill Brits and Americans.

Viewed historically, I suppose the game was a smashing success. By the time the United States and United Kingdom were sending hundreds of divisions at me from several directions, only four million Soviet citizens had died. The game doesn't track deaths in the gulags or ethnic cleansing – how could it, and still expect to sell? – so I had to imagine that, even if the death toll were twice that, it still wasn't bad. Though the world was collapsing around us, my country had survived.

Paradox's grand strategy games force a curious kind of perspective on the player. On the one hand, you regularly squander thousands of human lives without a second thought, ideally in the course of committing mass genocide against a hated foe. But as you make these simulated decisions, you remain aware that they are utterly inconsequential; they are just moves in a game. You might be racing against the clock as the simulator runs to the end, but you are not living in the end times.

The state of contemporary politics, both in the US and elsewhere, is much more confusing. No lone mastermind can sit back and marshal the resources of one of these declining Western democracies in pursuit of some glorious victory at all costs. Yet we have begun to see simplistic-sounding solutions prevail, whether they're Trump's shocking rise in the American polls or the UK electorate's surprising decision to exit the European Union.

New, on Motherboard: When Is a Hack an Act of War?

Unable to escape the angry rhetoric that drives cable news ratings, it's understandable that some people's minds begin to entertain thoughts of fascist national revival. Let a strongman take the reins, goes the reasoning, and he will show them – whoever they are. The idea is comforting, but the reality is another matter altogether. In Hearts of Iron IV and Paradox's other offerings, you run the show, but that show is a ghoulish bloodbath, and the winner is simply the last hegemon standing.

"To ravage, to slaughter, to usurp under false titles, they call empire; and where they make a desert, they call it peace," wrote the Roman historian Tacitus. Such a barren peace might be the best and final solution in grand strategy video games, but a steady diet of this violent virtual realpolitik leaves you wondering why anybody would ever want to make our real world a closer approximation of that.

Hearts of Iron IV is out now for Windows, Linux and Mac OS. Find more information at the Paradox Interactive website.

@moustacheclubus

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The Story of Jake McPake, the Best Fake Friend a Gamer Could Ever Have

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Jake's second appearance, in 'WWF No Mercy' (2000)

I want to tell you about my friend.

He could punch your head off. He can dunk the piss out of a basketball. He's a Champions League medal winner, three-time NHL Stanley Cup champion, seventeen-time WWE Heavyweight Champion and former President of the United States of America, despite being born in Romania and therefore being ineligible to stand for that position.

His name is Jake McPake, and he's been a part of my life for 17 years now, even though I've never met him or even spoken to him. Because he isn't real. As if that wasn't already obvious.

As gaming evolved from sprite-based to polygonal graphics during the mid 1990s, it opened up a wide range of new possibilities that would have been too time-consuming or outright impossible for developers to implement in the past. One of these was character creation.

The ability to create or customise characters in games had been around to some extent in the past, but it was usually limited to changing colours or choosing from a handful of parts. With sprite-based games, adding the option to change a character's outfit or physical appearance would mean the developers having to draw whole new animation sets for each variable.

Polygonal graphics engines changed this, and let developers simply create a bunch of objects that could be attached to a standard body as if they were dressing a mannequin, using the same set of animations.

Some games – mainly wrestling ones, for some reason – started adding comprehensive character creation modes, letting you design the hero of your own story. And my hero was born in 1999.

Jake in 'WWF Smackdown 2: Know Your Role' (2000)

The game was WWF WrestleMania 2000, the first of THQ and developer Yuke's famed Nintendo 64 wrestling games to feature the WWF licence. Although games like Acclaim's WWF Attitude had a detailed character creation mode with hundreds of outfits to choose from, WrestleMania 2000's selection was more modest.

Still, as a 15-year-old in search of hijinks, I decided to make the most ridiculous-looking character I could using the limited selection available to me.

The result was Jake McPake, a man with maximum stats in height (7'11") and weight (599lbs). He had a big bright red afro, a lumberjack beard and sunglasses. I dubbed him "the Romanian Muscle" for reasons I don't really understand to this day – I have no connection with Romania and, with respect to it, no real urge to ever go there.

"However he looked, he was always my Jake. I was a father living vicariously through his successful son."

Although he was just supposed to be a bit of fun, for some reason something about Jake McPake clicked with me. Although he was inhumanly tall and obscenely obese, the game's standard middle finger and crotch chop taunts somehow suited him even better than the Steve Austins and Triple Hs of the game.

In my head, I was forming a backstory. This was a man who'd been bullied all his life for the way he looked, and so it drove him even further to be not just the best wrestler, but the best footballer, the best basketball player, the best assassin. The best.

Article continues after the video below

Watch VICE's film, The British Wrestler

What had been a comedy experiment to pass the time one weekend had become an obsession. At school I'd draw pictures of Jake in my notebooks, draped with a Romanian flag and ably supported by a little speech bubble saying his catchphrase: "Romania-mania is running wild, ya wee prrrrrrrrick."

When I moved on to the game's sequel, the iconic WWF No Mercy, Jake duly followed. I recreated him before I even made a version of myself. This was the guy I wanted to be. The freak who showed the world that he wasn't abnormal, he was just the best and everyone else simply hadn't evolved to his standard yet.

Jake soon became a regular part of my gaming life. Every time a game – wrestling or otherwise – offered the chance to create a character, more often than not I'd bring Jake off the sidelines and chuck him into the action again.

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Jake gets real deep in 'NBA 2K15' (2014)

His usefulness soon went beyond just being the ultimate role model. He became a helpful way of testing each new game's character creation limits. Often he had to go without his giant bright red afro or his sunglasses because a specific game didn't offer that option. Other times he wasn't able to reach his usual 7'11" height or look morbidly obese.

Despite this, however he looked, he was always my Jake. I felt something different playing as him that I didn't feel when I created myself in games. I knew I could never play for Celtic or the Toronto Raptors, so having Chris Scullion in a game felt a little hokey. But somehow, doing it with this daft big dick with the bright red hair felt more believable to me. Now I was a father living vicariously through his successful son.

Jake as the President of the United States in 'Saints Row IV: Re-Elected' (2015)

When the brilliant WWF Smackdown 2: Know Your Role launched on PlayStation, Jake effortlessly made the jump from Nintendo to Sony. When Pro Evolution Soccer dominated my life during the PS2 era, Jake was always in my Master League team, his enormous size making him a beast when it came to heading in crosses from corners.

Eventually, my lifelong love for gaming found its way into my working life and I became a games journalist for Official Nintendo Magazine, shortly before the Wii launched. Forced to leave my friends and family behind in Scotland and move to London, it was a terrifying new beginning for a 23 year old (especially because I was living in a shitehole flat in Turnpike Lane). But as my entire life changed, one constant remained: Jake McPake, now in Mii form, was there.

"At first I played as him because it was funny, then eventually it was because of what he stood for: someone who was judged for looking different but showed he could rock the face off everyone if he wanted to."

I even managed to get a feature about Jake published in the magazine, disguised as an article about all the different Wii games with Mii character support. Guess which Mii I used.

Jake's purpose has evolved over the years. At first I played as him because it was funny, then eventually it was because of what he stood for: someone who was judged for looking different but showed he could rock the face off everyone if he wanted to. Ever since I moved to London, though, he's been a connection to my childhood: a reminder that even though my mind and body are now 33 years old, the 15-year-old me still lives in my heart.

The latest incarnation of Jake McPake, in the 'NHL 17' beta (2016)

These days Jake's still going strong and continuing to do Romania proud while looking more realistic than ever. He's been the star of the MyPlayer mode in the NBA 2K13, 2K14 and 2K15 games, and just last night I created him in the NHL 17 beta (the most handsome version of him yet, if I do say so, partly because EA's creation tools don't let him look too ridiculous).

He's always been a wrestler first and foremost, though, and when WWE 2K17 launches this October the first thing I'll be doing is adding Jake McPake to the roster. And as I sit there, tinkering with his hair sliders on my 55" 4K TV, I'll suddenly be 15 years old again, squinting at my 13" CRT telly in my bedroom, chuckling away to myself as I choose just the right brightness of red for my friend Jake's hair.

@scully1888

More from VICE Gaming:

Congratulations, Niantic, You've Broken 'Pokémon Go'

Why Is There No 'Proper' Olympics Video Game in 2016?

My Struggle To Survive at the Cannibal Frontier of 'The Forest'


The Hangover News

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Text Disaster
OWEN SMITH MASS-TEXTED LABOUR MEMBERS AT 4AM
His campaign rolled out texts for hours from Saturday evening to Sunday

Congratulations Niantic, You’ve Broken ‘Pokémon Go’

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Screencap of people enjoying 'Pokémon Go'. Good luck with that now, guys. (Via YouTube)

Unless you've been living on the moon for the past few weeks, you already know about Pokémon Go, the phenomenally successful mobile game from Niantic, made in partnership with The Pokémon Company. Using a combination of GPS tracking and augmented reality, Pokémon Go allows players to go hunting for Pokémon out in the real world. It's been a breakout success for its makers, but that's almost certainly all about to change, thanks to a very poor decision from Niantic.

When Pokémon Go launched in early July, it had an incredibly simple but functional tracking system in which nearby Pokémon would be displayed in the nearby section with a number of footprints underneath their picture. So if you saw a Charmander with one footprint beneath it, it meant you were within throwing distance of the little blighter; while three footprints meant it was a fair old trek away. The only way to track down a Pokémon was to move in a direction and see if the footprint number dropped, indicating you were getting hotter. It wasn't the most elegant system on Earth and it could be bloody infuriating at times, but it was something at least.

Then came the three footprint bug which completely broke the system, showing three footprints for all Pokémon regardless of how far away they were. Dragonite on your radar? Good luck finding it, buddy. This could easily have been the end of Pokémon Go, especially with the rumours that the "bug" was in fact an intentional move by Niantic to reduce the load on their struggling servers.

But we're an enterprising species and when a hole in the market appears, you can bet your ass someone will fill it. Along came Pokévision, a browser-based system that allowed players to search their surrounding area for nearby Pokémon. None of this three footsteps rubbish was necessary: Pokévision could tell you the exact location of any Pokémon along with the amount of time left before it despawned. The game was saved and Pokémon trainers the world over could rejoice.

Was it cheating? Sure, I guess you could call it that. But in the absence of an official system it was all we had. Understandably, when asked what they thought of Pokévision, Niantic weren't exactly thrilled. Speaking with Forbes, Niantic CEO John Hanke said:

"Yeah, I don't really like that. Not a fan. We have priorities right now but they might find in the future that those things may not work.

"People are only hurting themselves because it takes some fun out of the game. People are hacking around trying to take data out of our system and that's against our terms of service."

A fair point, if not for the fact that the in-game system for tracking Pokémon was completely fucked. These weren't empty words either, as just three days after this interview was published, on July the 31st, Pokévision was shut down.

New, on Motherboard: Have We Reached Peak 'Pokémon Go'?

So now Pokémon Go has no viable tracking app and players have to just wander around aimlessly and hope they bump into something worth catching. Fantastic move Niantic, you've blown it. It's perfectly understandable that you don't approve of Pokévision, but at least get your own solution working before you shut them down. We don't even have any sort of time frame as to when the tracking system will be fixed. The latest update actually removed the footprints altogether, presumably to reduce frustration from confused players, a move which suggests that the fix isn't coming any time soon. Without any reliable way to find the Pokémon they're looking for, the majority of high-level players now have very little reason to play. Some are demanding refunds as their plans for in-app purchases have now been altered.

We've all read the stories claiming that Pokémon Go is nothing more than a momentary craze, a flash in the pan destined to burn out after a month or two, so the developers should be doing everything in their power to prove them wrong, surely. By shutting down Pokévision, Niantic have destroyed the game's momentum, something very precious to its ongoing success. It's likely, given the user base of over 75 million players worldwide, that Go will survive this rather significant bump; but it's a stupid move that will do nothing but alienate a large portion of the hardcore fanbase while simultaneously making the game less inviting to newcomers.

@ianvancheese

Read more gaming articles on VICE here, and follow VICE Gaming on Twitter at @VICEGaming.

Is the Islamic World Facing Up to Its Rising HIV Problem?

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Despite strict rules against promiscuity, homosexuality, drug use and sex work, the Islamic world is nevertheless – and perhaps as a result – facing up to a growing HIV problem.

When the HIV epidemic hit in the 1980s, governments in the Islamic world declared their countries were immune from the "Western" virus because of religious and cultural values shunning pre-marital sex while encouraging faithfulness. They were partly correct; this way of life resulted in a very low HIV prevalence. For years, many Muslim leaders denied the existence of HIV within their borders, until they could no longer.

In most parts of the world HIV infections and deaths from Aids have been falling, even in southern and eastern Africa, where more than half of the global HIV population lives. New drugs to prevent infection and lessen the impact of the virus on the body have blunted its impact.

Yet in the conservative, Muslim-majority regions of North Africa, the Middle East and parts of Asia, new HIV infections have been on the rise since 2001. The latest figures show that, despite the availability of antiretroviral drugs, the region is one of two global hotspots (the other is Eastern Europe) where new HIV infections and deaths from Aids are increasing. Damningly, in the Middle East and North Africa, the proportion of people living with HIV who are receiving lifesaving antiretroviral treatment is the lowest in the world.

So how are religion, culture and politics in the region helping, or hindering, efforts to deal with what could become – especially in the face of war and upheaval – an HIV epidemic?

A couple of weeks ago I went to the 21st International Aids Conference in Durban, South Africa, the scene 16 years ago of a major turnaround in the way HIV was tackled in Africa. At the conference there was a session dedicated to how Islamic communities were dealing with rising HIV. The panel consisted of experts from around the Muslim world, including Wafaa Jlassi, a woman living with HIV in Tunisia. Her story was pretty shocking.

She found out she had HIV after her husband died. A post-mortem discovered he had died from Aids, so she was tested and found to have the virus. Her husband's family wrongly presumed, because she was a woman, that she had passed the infection onto him. The local police told all her neighbours she has the "disease". She was thrown out of her family home. Only by the skin of her teeth did she manage to keep custody of her two daughters. The sudden impact of losing her husband, being told she had HIV and being treated like dirt by her community left her close to suicide.

Speaking in French, she told the conference of her native Tunisia: "I'm scared of the society I live in, where homosexuals live in fear of the law; where women lose their jobs because of their HIV status and people with HIV are refused medicine," said Jlassi, who now works for a charity helping to raise awareness of HIV in the country. "We need to stop this ignorance and suffering."

Tunisia is one of the region's less conservative societies. In Saudi Arabia, for example, homosexuality can be punishable by death, which is not the ideal start to dealing with HIV. In Iraq, a country enmeshed in bloody conflict and where HIV positive people are murdered, Amir Ashour of gay rights organisation Iraqueer says the country pretends HIV does not exist.

The reality is that, from Marrakesh and Mogadishu to Dubai and Karachi, stigma and discrimination against people with HIV – especially sex workers, gay men and drug addicts – is a problem. Prejudice against those with HIV and vulnerable groups exists the world over, from developing countries to the UK: one of Nigel Farage's 2015 election pledges was to ban people with HIV entering the country. It wasn't that long ago that the virus was being labelled by British tabloids as the "gay plague". But the dominance of traditional, conservative attitudes in societies across North Africa, the Middle East and parts of Asia has created a significant barrier to dealing with HIV.

In the region, a positive HIV test is far from being a private matter. Police often report HIV+ people to their neighbours. Patients risk being branded with their HIV status for life. Amir Ashour tells me that in Iraq "the bad practices are usually committed by doctors, clinics and hospitals. Like outing persons living with HIV to the government, which puts the lives of those individuals at great danger."

Rita Wahab, of Middle East-based HIV organisation MENA Rosa described having HIV in the region as a double bind: "Those who are at greatest risk of infection are also engaged in practices, such as sex work or same-sex relations, that are condemned by religious doctrine, social norms and the law. This wide-ranging stigma and discrimination further fuels the epidemic by driving those living with HIV and those most at risk of infection away from testing and disclosure, making HIV prevention and treatment increasingly difficult."

This deep-rooted prejudice is highly tangible: it can directly be the cause of destitution, lack of healthcare, violence and death. As UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon warned back in 2008: "Stigma helps make Aids the silent killer, because people fear the social disgrace of speaking about it. Stigma is the chief reason why the Aids epidemic continues to devastate societies around the world."

Beneath the umbrella of the Islamic world, amid the undercurrent of prejudice, there are marked disparities in the way the virus is being tackled. In North African countries such as Morocco, governments have set up extensive programmes to prevent and treat HIV. In Iran and Pakistan, spiralling HIV infections caused by high levels of injecting drug use have been confronted head on by governments.

"A country's politics, its culture and the mentality of the policymakers can have a stronger impact on policy than religion. In some Muslim countries the religious leaders are more open minded than the politicians," says Iranian Kamiar Alaei, a human rights expert at the State University of New York.

With his brother Arash, a physician, Kamiar set up Iran's first HIV clinic in the late 1990s, establishing a network of needle exchanges primarily aimed at stemming the spread of the virus through intravenous heroin use. Swimming against the tide in a conservative society such as Iran can get you in trouble. The Alaei brothers were jailed for three years between 2008 and 2011 for "attempting to overthrow the Islamic regime" just because they attended a few HIV conferences in the US. Now, Iran's HIV treatment service is not perfect – in fact, the very people supposed to be helping patients discriminate against them – but for a country where homosexuality is punishable by death, it's progress.

For most governments in the Islamic world, public health pragmatism has trumped religious doctrine, the outlawing of homosexuality and public prejudice. Governments have responded to the rising tide of HIV by stepping up the distribution of condoms, clean needles and treatment for drug addiction and for those with HIV. Much of this is implemented with the help of foreign NGOs, which is also a convenient way for conservative regimes to avoid being seen as helping the "unworthy" by a less than sympathetic public.

A 2013 survey in Pakistan – which, like Iran, has had to tackle an HIV epidemic fuelled largely by drug use – found only two percent of people said homosexuality was "acceptable". In Qatar, a country which deported a foreign journalist working for Al Jazeera after secretly testing him for HIV, only five percent of young men and two percent of young women expressed tolerance for people with the virus. Across the border in Saudi Arabia, a survey found three quarters of college students believed people with HIV or Aids should be "isolated from the public".

In Sudan, which has the second highest HIV+ population in the region after Iran, HIV is tackled at arms length. The Sudanese government is happy to give the silent nod, opening the back door to allow foreign NGOs to work inside their country, without being seen to sanction what could be seen as an irreligious health intervention.

WATCH: Getting High on HIV Medication

In Turkey, the only Muslim country where legalised homosexuality is enshrined in law, President Recep Erdogan flexed his anti-gay muscles in June by banning Istanbul's Gay Pride in a flurry of water cannons and plastic bullets. But behind the reactionary veil, officials have reacted quickly to an HIV epidemic that has seen a 900 percent rise in new infections in under a decade, from 180 in 2005 to 1,800 in 2014. Unlike many Muslim countries, the country's 10,000 HIV+ population now has access to life-saving antiretroviral drugs to boost their immune systems. Consequently, the number of people dying of Aids in Turkey has fallen dramatically.

So what do imams say about HIV? In Morocco there is one imam known as the "Imam of Aids" because he helps people with HIV. But not all imams are as HIV-friendly. When asked at the conference in Durban why some encouraged hate crimes against people with HIV, Mohammed Abou Zaid, an imam and one of Lebanon's senior court judges, said there were two types of religious leader. One who thinks they are superior to other men, who claim to represent the divine, the one truth. Or the other who serves the people, who accepts he is a fallible human being. "The second man, he has better understanding of the role of religion in our lives," said Abou Zaid. "But if you find the first imam, please get away from him – he's very dangerous; more dangerous than the HIV virus."

Abou Zaid said that, in his view, Islam should be an agent for change in attitudes to HIV. "It all started when I met a transgender Muslim woman who said her father had thrown her out aged 14. He did not accept her at home. He closed his door to her. I was moved. I said to her, 'Maybe your father has closed the door, but I'm sure God will never ever close his door.' God created us, God loves us, his doors always stay open. If I'm related to God and I claim I'm a religious figure, I should also open my doors, and my heart and mind."

In the UK, which has around 100,000 people living with HIV, the number of new HIV infections each year has fallen by 25 percent since 2005. NAZ, a charity in London, helps around 60 Muslims in the UK with HIV and has trained over 50 imams in the capital on how to address sexual health and HIV at mosques. Muslim service coordinator Khaiser Khan tells me clients can feel ostracised from their families and their religion. But, he says, although it can take time, people are usually able to tell their family and do not feel they have to turn away from their faith.

Tariq, an accountant from Berkshire, used partying, drugs, alcohol, clubbing and sex as a form of escapism because he was secretly gay. He found out he was HIV+ in 2008 and locked himself in his room for two days. He went for help at NAZ, told his sister and ended up helping to train a group of 10 imams to deal with the issue. "It's about dealing with the shame of being gay, of being a Muslim with HIV, understanding what's happening to you and recovering from it," says Tariq.

As younger generations of Muslims become more Westernised, the old cultural mores that have historically kept the HIV problem in check are gradually evaporating. However tempting otherwise, perhaps it is time for religious leaders to step into the breach, and follow the example of people like Abou Zaid, to become the public face in the fight against HIV and against the stigma and ignorance that is driving its rise in the Islamic world.

@Narcomania

More on VICE:

Meeting the Men and Women Who Refuse to Believe That HIV Causes AIDS

Young, British and Living With HIV

The Italian Researcher Working to End the AIDS Epidemic

The Vice Interview: The VICE Interview: Ralf Little

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This is the VICE Interview. Each week we ask a different famous and/ or interesting person the same set of questions in a bid to peek deep into their psyche.

Ralf Little got famous at age 18, when he sacked off a future career in medicine to star as the affable Antony in classic cult sitcom The Royle Family. Now, almost two decades on in his mid-30s, he's still proudest of being a Royle, but can also add producer and writer to his name. Having finally accepted he'd never become a professional footballer (he was never actually that great), Ralf co-founded production company LittleRock Pictures in 2014.

The decision to spend some time working behind the camera turned out to be a good one. LittleRock Pictures produced Channel 5 mockumentary Borderline, which takes a comical look at one of the UK's most contentious issues in a post-Brexit world: immigration.

Just before his new show airs, we caught up with Ralf to chat about his mum's Sunday roast, break-ups, and the art of pontificating about liberal issues on Twitter for the sake of fighting the good fight.

Why did you break up with your first girlfriend?
I broke up with my first girlfriend because I had made the decision to move to London. I was in Bolton at the time and we'd been going out for a couple of years, and then I was moving to London and I didn't really fancy the idea of a long-distance relationship, and that's it, really. I did it in a really cowardly way though. I said to her, "Maybe we should have a break, see how it goes when I move to London." That's one of the few things I regret, actually. Then, from the comfort of being 200 miles away I said, "Well, I'm not really sure this is going to work actually." She was not happy but we bumped into each other again about three or four years ago and she was really cool and really funny. We're kind of good mates now, which is weird because I've always been very suspicious of people who are mates with their exes. I guess it's okay though, because it's been about 15 years. Plus I apologised to her, so that helped.

What conspiracy theory do you believe?
None. Zilch, nada, not one. I'm a liberal atheist with scientific leanings. I'm not a conspiracy theory man, I'm afraid.

What was your first email address?
It was ralflittle@hotmail.co.uk and I got it when I was about 20. People used to laugh, because I'd tell them what my email address was and they'd go, "It's hardly disguised, is it?" But I was always of the belief that if anybody wanted to stalk me, it would take some guesswork to just chance upon that email address. Now all you've got to do is go on Twitter and you can contact me anyway. It's really interesting to see how the world has changed – once upon a time you had to keep your email address secret so people wouldn't message you. Now we have whole global platforms for that very thing. I had to change it after a point, though. I probably read VICE or a similar publication that said, "Look, it's time to move on from Hotmail." I probably did it so I could be cooler or something.

(via BBC)

What would be your last meal?
Probably my mum's Sunday roast. Nobody can do gravy like my mum. I've tried, I don't mind a bit of cooking, but nobody can do gravy like my mum, so it would have to be that. And with a bit of luck, that would mean I could hang with my mum too.

If you were a wrestler, what song would you come into the ring to?
Something ironic and comical, like "Sisters Are Doin' It for Themselves" or "It's Raining Men" or something like that. I would just find it really funny to come out to a really camp song.

What film or TV show makes you cry?
I don't cry very readily at all. That said, The Iron Giant made me cry. It's an animation based very loosely on the Ted Hughes book and it's just a gorgeous, beautifully animated film; one of those movies that's really a kid film, but actually there's more to it if you look closer. It's brilliant. It always brings a tear to my eye because it's just really moving. There's a twist at the end as well, but I won't say what.

Without Googling, explain how global warming basically works.
Um greenhouse gases are released into the atmosphere and they trap heat and, uh, it's caused because we're changing the components of the atmosphere. Largely, not so much because of the cars, but apparently mostly because of our taste for beef! There you have it.

You are having a conversation with a family friend, and they say something unequivocally racist. What do you do?
I would say something; I'd have to stop them. I wish I could say this was me, but I have a friend who drunkenly tried to perform a citizens' arrest on a black cab driver because he was inciting civil unrest or something. He said something racist and she went, "I'm sorry but that's not acceptable. Pull over, I'm performing a citizens arrest on you for inciting racial hatred." She had to just get out and get another taxi but you've got to admire her principles, especially when she was walking home in the rain. I don't know what I'd say, but it would probably be something like, "I'm sorry, can I just stop you there, because that doesn't work. We can't have that, and here are the reasons why." And then I'd probably launch into a really self-righteous lecture, which I'm good at, and you'd know that if you follow my Twitter account. I get people, usually trolls, calling me a liberal luvvy, which will never be an insult to me.

What have you done in your career that you are most proud of?
It's still The Royle Family, to be honest. I think it transcended class, gender, age, and when I watch it, I watch it just like a fan, because I didn't write or produce it – I was just lucky enough to be dragged along for the ride of a lifetime.

What have you done in your life that you most regret?
Splitting up with my girlfriend is still the biggest one in hindsight. I don't have a lot of regrets. I've enjoyed myself quite a lot, but I usually try to be quite decent.

If you had to give up sex or kissing, which would it be?
Well, it depends what mood I'm in. This is a really funny one, because you're forcing me to consider what I want my public persona to look like. If you want to sound really nice and romantic and have everyone go, "Oh, how lovely" then you say kissing. But if you want to be really honest, you say sex. So, I'm going to say I'd give up kissing – he says, lying through his teeth.

Borderline airs Tuesday 2nd August, 10pm, Channel 5

@YasminAJeffery

More VICE Interviews:

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The VICE Guide to Right Now: University Grants Have Been Scrapped

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Students protesting against fees in London (Photo by Adam Barnett)

You know when you wake up and think to yourself, 'Is this, or is this not, going to be a very Tory day?' Oh, you don't bother any more because this is 2016 and every day is a disastrously Tory day? Yeah, same.

So far this year we've had uni fees rising again, the scrapping of the Department of Climate Change, the continuation of the housing crisis and, of course, Brexit – which obviously had cross-party support, but, you know, felt very Tory in its shunting of young people. Today, there's another one: in one of the most drastic middle fingers to working class young people in years, students starting university courses in England will no longer be able to apply for grants towards living costs.

From today, those grants have been replaced by more loans. Previously, students from families with annual incomes of £25,000 or less received a full grant of £3,387, which went a long way towards covering living costs. That's now gone.

The NUS has said the move, introduced by then-chancellor George Osborne in his July 2015 budget, is "disgraceful" and means poorer students will be saddled with a lifetime of debt. NUS vice-president Sorana Vieru told BBC Breakfast: "It could put off students from underprivileged backgrounds from applying, who might not understand how the loan system works, or are very debt-averse. We also know that mature students are way more debt-averse than younger students and that BME students perceive student debt on a par with commercial debt."

When Osborne announced the measure he said there was a "basic unfairness in asking taxpayers to fund grants for people who are likely to earn a lot more than them". Problem is, even if you decide to jump headfirst into this bottomless debt, we now know that any potential extra earnings you would have made by having a degree are completely eaten up by the loans and interest you have to pay back afterwards.

Working class millennials are getting left behind and this is a nail in the coffin.

@hannahrosewens

More from Generation Fucked:

Whether We Leave the EU Or Not, We're Fucked

Even After a 'Millennial Friendly' Budget, We're Fucked

We'll Be Working When We're 75

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