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A Fist in the Face of God Presents... Too Fast to Die!

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Since Deathhammer vocalist Sergeant Salsten moved to Tasmania, his band workload has gone down, understandably, and his time for making mixes has increased. I've posted a lot of compilations on here over the years, and many have surprised with me with their selections, but Daniel Salsten's are something else.

First of all, he draws his own covers, and secondly he usually sends what most people would consider two – maybe even three – mixtape's worth of songs, this one being no exception. I can't praise this one enough, but at over two hours running time it's going separate the die-hards from the dabblers. It also includes a song by a Japanese band from the 80s called "Mein Kampf", which I'll flag here just in case you think we're bringing you some kind of Nazi speed metal. Which we're not; just a song from a band that named itself when all its members were idiot teenagers.

I'll leave the rest in Salsten's capable hands:

Dylan asked me to do another mix, and I thought this time I'd make one with only violent death and thrash metal. Some of the bands actually lean more towards speed or black metal, but most importantly it's all fast and ripping – no wimpy shit.

TRACKLIST

1. Aggression (CAN) - Blaspheming at the Altar (Demo I / 1985)
2. Savage Death (USA) - Legions of Doom (Mass Genocide / 1985)
3. Slaughter Lord (AUS) - Die by Power (Taste of Blood / 1986)
4. Vellocet (GER) - Assassin on Attack (Captive of Reality / 1986)
5. Vomit (NOR) - Armies of Hell (Rot in Hell / 1987)
6. Terminal Death (USA) - Judge Death (Faces of Death / 1985)
7. Kruiz (RUS) - Poslednij Rassvet (Kruiz-1 / 1987)
8. Invocator (DNK) - Dismal Serfage (Genetic Confusion / 1988)
9. Debustrol (CZE) - Antikrist (Ultra Metal SPLIT / 1990)
10. Mein Kampf (JPN) - Speeder (Speeder / 1985)
11. Disaster (CHL) - Desquiciado (Desquiciado / 2004)
12. Kreator (GER) - After the Attack (Sound Waves 1 / 1988)
13. Bombarder (SRB) - Speed Metal Manijak (Bez Milosti / 1991)
14. Spectral Birth (AUS) - Frog of Fear (Raze / 1990)
15. Witchhammer (NOR) - Curiosity about Death (1487 / 1990)
16. Leviathan (USA) - Destructive Aggressor (Legions of the Undead / 1987)
17. Korrozia Metalla (RUS) - CÎrnyj Terror (Orden Satani / 1988)
18. Backwater (GER) - Rock Hard (Revelation / 1984)
19. Vader - (POL) - The Final Massacre (Necrolust / 1989)
20. Dorsal Atlântica (BRA) - Depress„o Suicida (Antes do Fim / 1986)
21. Second Hell (NLD) - Homicide (Metal Deadness SPLIT / 1986)
22. Devastation (USA) - Apocalyptic Warrior (A Creation of Ripping Death / 1986)
23. Xandril (GER) - Nearly Dead (Perfect Darkness / 1988)
24. Evil Blood (CRO) - Kill with Napalm (The Best of Djinn / Evil Blood -83'-86' / 1986)
25. The Beast (USA) - Pitbull Terror (Demo 86' / 1986)
26. Metal Storm (GER) - Suicide Commando (Outbreak of Evil / 1987)
27. Pyöveli (FIN) - Metal Forces (Feel the Razor / 2003)
28. Voo Doo (POL) - Da Czadu VooDoo (Heavy Metal VooDoo / 1987)
29. Casbah (JPN) - Death Metal (Russian Roulette / 1986)
30. Dismember (SWE) - Substantually Dead (Dismembered / 1988)
31. Atomic Aggressor (CHL) - Bloody Ceremonial (Bloody Ceremonial / 1989)
32. Outrage (GER) - Into the Abyss of Belial (Outrage I / 1985)
33. Mutilator (BRA) - Evil Conspiracy (Grave Desecration / 1986)
34. Sodom (GER) - Live from Hell (Victims of Death / 1984)
35. Acheron (USA) - The Enochian Key (Rites of the Black Mass / 1992)

I've also been keeping up my monthly radio show on NTS, where I play the finest in forgotten metal for two hours. The shows are chronicled here, for those not in the know.

More from †ROCKWELL†

More mixtapes from A Fist in the Face of God:

There Will Never Be Peace

Full Speed Ahead!

Out of Our Own Orientation


Cowboys in the Netherlands: Photos from the Largest Country Festival in Europe

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This article originally appeared on VICE Netherlands

If you had to pick one spot in the world that is the polar opposite of the wildness and roughness you probably associate with the Wild West, you'd probably end up in the conference centre Brabanthallen in the Netherlands – normally a place reserved for knitting contests and dog shows.

And yet, this was the place where in the last week of January, thousands of European cowboys and Indians came together for the "largest country and western festival in Europe." Attendees line danced like there was no tomorrow, while if you were looking for shirts, hats, jewellery or boots with a Western theme, you had to look no further. Photographer Sabine Rovers went to Western Experience and took these pictures.

Scroll down for more photos.


Photos of the Hundreds of People Who Queued Overnight to Buy the New Supreme Collection

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This morning, Supreme dropped the first items from their SS/16 collection. As per, fans, collectors and re-sellers made pilgrimages from all over the UK and Europe to get their hands on clothes and caps from the new season, with some camping out from 9AM yesterday morning.

The Morrissey T-shirt – the one that caused all the drama, with Morrissey trying to pull out because he didn't like any of the photos taken of him for it, before claiming he had to sever ties because he's a vegetarian and Supreme once collaborated with burger chain White Castle – is what most people up the front were after. A couple have already appeared on eBay, bumped up to £100 a shirt.

Here, have a look at these photos of everyone lined up outside the Soho store, the abandoned chairs people spent the night on, and the first couple of buyers who made it in and out.

The Incoming Iron Maiden Mobile Game Looks… Actually Not Awful

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Mobile games sold on the strength of a featured celebrity are, usually, almighty heaps of crap. Katy Perry Pop, that did well. By which I mean it really didn't, and there wasn't even a note of Perry's own music in it. As we've previously noted on VICE, Kim Kardashian: Hollywood is more debt-encouraging nightmare than fame-and-fortune dreams simulator. And Demi Lovato's Path to Fame was a shameless suck-up to its title star, in which your character creeps around kissing the "Cool for the Summer" singer's ass until she decides that, okay, you're not a total loser.

Legacy of the Beast is somewhat different. A turn-based action RPG coming to tablets and smartphones later in 2016, the game is based on the lore of Iron Maiden, the British heavy metal group that celebrated its 40th anniversary in 2015. It is, according to its co-developers at Vancouver's Roadhouse Interactive, as much a game for those who've never heard a solitary Maiden riff as it is a treat for veteran fans that own every import seven-inch. Which is lucky for me as I couldn't really give a toss about what Eddie (the Head) first appeared on which album sleeve – I'm way more interested in seeing what Maiden's zombie-like mascot can do on the field of battle.

"We wanted to create a really compelling RPG, first and foremost," says the game director at Roadhouse, Hamish Millar. "So we're looking to cater to people who love those games." Llexi Leon, who works on the interactive side of Maiden's output at London-based management company Phantom Music, jumps in: "From our side, this is an incredible discovery platform. We didn't want a game that only Maiden fans can enjoy – we wanted an awesome game that might introduce Maiden lore to people for the first time.

"This mythology is awesome, and the stories are fantastic. There's been 40 years of Eddie, and we're trying to get every one of those iterations into this game. Everything you see in the game is derived from pre-existing album art, it's not like we're just pulling this stuff out of a hat. It's all there to be studied and recreated."

How Legacy of the Beast plays rather betrays the influences of its makers at Roadhouse, who are partnering with British studio 50cc Games on the project. After selecting a stage from three-dimensions hub worlds, not unlike those seen in Super Mario Bros. 3, each of which is based on a Maiden LP – there's an Egyptian world, for example, that draws on the artwork of 1984's Powerslave – the player is pitched into combat against waves of enemies, culminating in a boss-level opponent. And how these battles progress isn't so unlike Square games of the past. There's more than a hint of Final Fantasy in here, with "limit break"-style special moves available to the player's roster, while a time-travelling mechanic – each zone can be seen in the past, present and future – makes me think back to Chrono Trigger. (Not to mention Sonic CD, but that doesn't quite fit the RPG model.)

"We grew up on that stuff, those old RPGs, and those games are part of the reason we got into this industry," Hamish says. "I don't think it's a conscious thing, that we've referenced those games, but they're definitely in our DNA."

In each battle, up to three selectable Eddies line up, albeit one at a time, beside a couple of minions. The player can switch between Eddies while in the fight, as each one – there's Trooper Eddie, Pharaoh Eddie, Wicker Man Eddie, Gunner Eddie, and so on – has their own unique abilities to either dish out damage or perk-up your team. Special moves require the player to tap rapidly to power up the attack, and then time their blow with a shrinking circle over the target. Might be a projectile shot, might be a whopping great thump, but either way, the bad guys go down. Suffice to say that while this is a turn-based game, there's a lot more digit-action to it than your standard menus-only take on the genre.

Article continues after the video below

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"Hopefully it's a game that's easy to pick up and play, but also hard to master," Llexi says. "The depth will reveal itself as you progress. Everyone gets an Eddie at the beginning – you want people to think it's cool from the outset. And every time you unlock a new character, you get the chance to perfect their timings, rather than getting overwhelmed with loads at once."

Hamish agrees that, while it's easy to assume mobile games will be less detailed than computer or console alternatives, this is far from a "casual" experience. "A lot of the games we've been looking at as examples of keeping players in RPGs for the longest times, in engaging and fun experiences, they can be very complex, particularly in their feature set and UI (user interface). So we wanted to take those great mechanics, but make a game that was accessible."

Legacy of the Beast will be a free-to-play game, and that naturally means that microtransactions are included. But with all involved in the game aiming for it to be a PvP hit, as well it having a solid single-player campaign, they're very wary of getting into a "pay to win" situation.

On Noisey: Death, Glory and Triumph: Why Iron Maiden Is the Artist of 2015

"Eddie Coins are the primary currency, and most of the stuff you can get in the game can be bought using that," Harris tells me. "You can pay with real money to accelerate your progress, and power up your team. But because there's a competitive, PvP component coming to the game, we can't have a pure 'pay to win' model. So many players will want to be competitive but won't want to pay real money, and if we skew it to favour those who do pay, those other players will leave. So it's all about balance. You want to reward the players who want to spend, but not so much that you turn away those who can't afford to."

"All the content is accessible to anyone, regardless of whether or not you spend a penny," Llexi adds. "It is a free-to-play game, for sure – but if you want it all now, as many Eddies as you can handle, then there should be a facility for people to do that. I think anyone who really enjoys this experience, who moves beyond a casual attachment, may want to spend a little money on it to explore what's available. It's endless, what we can do with this; but we need to make sure nobody feels trapped behind a paywall. You can play through the whole campaign without paying."

Whether or not Legacy of the Beast successfully attracts players without a Maiden record to their name, or exclusively appeals to the band's existing (massive) audience, remains to be seen. But even with tweaks to be made before it launches later in 2016, the game looks more like the real deal than any celeb-endorsed mobile affair before it, at least that I can think of. Will it be better than Kanye's game about his mum? Honestly, probably.

@MikeDiver

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PETA's Video Games Are Making Animal Rights Fun

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PETA’s Video Games Are Making Animal Rights Fun

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PETA's Super Mario Bros. parody, 'Mario Kills Tanooki'

I'm a vegan, but no, you're not reading Munchies. I feel as strongly about my food diet as I do my gaming one – but I don't bring either of them up at dinner parties. Unless someone tries to sass me, and ends up with egg on their face, both literally and figuratively. Anyway, it's obvious that animals and games go together. Look at the canine companions in Fable and Fallout titles, the popularity of Goat Simulator, or everyone on Twitter losing their shit over Neko Atsume.

But here's something you might not expect: sensational vegan activism actually goes together perfectly with gaming too, like BBQ tempeh steak and a bottle of claret. At least, this is what PETA (People for Ethical Treatment of Animals) have discovered, due to the incredible popularity of their awesome parody games, such as Pokémon Black & Blue, Mario Kills Tanooki and Breasts, Not Animal Tests. The animal rights organisation's most recent game, Kitten Squad, is one that you can play, for free, on your PS4 right now.

"We launched Super Tofu Boy on December 1st, 2010," says Joel Bartlett, Vice President of Marketing for PETA US. "In the three months following its launch, Super Tofu Boy was played more than 1.7 million times." "Holy Shit, Peta made a Tofu parody game of Super Meat Boy. My dreams have come true!" tweeted Ed McMillen, one of the original game's creators, before adding a playable Tofu Boy to the real Super Meat Boy. (And whether that was in repentant solidarity or a fit of pique doesn't really matter.)

'Super Tofu Boy'

This kind of success, both in terms of traffic and games industry engagement, is hardly a flash in the pan. PETA's Cooking Mama parody, Mama Kills Animals, is still the third-most visited of their pages, serving up satirical slaughter more than 1.4 million times. And not only did the unauthorised game not provoke the wrath of the Cooking Mama series' corporate publisher Majesco Entertainment, the company loved it. Well, they used it to their advantage, at least.

In response to Mama Kills Animals, Majesco issued the kind of (admittedly incoming product-supporting) public statement that other massive publishers wouldn't dream of circulating: "While Mama is not a vegetarian, she fully supports the humane treatment of animals, particularly for her canine protégé Max who makes his doggie debut in World Kitchen." Majesco even pulled Mama from the kitchen to get her thoughts on the matter: "I would never put rat in my ratatouille," said the fictional cook, in a bizarre but kind of inspired piece of misdirection. But this speaks volumes about the place of love, for animals and for games, that PETA is actually coming from.

"We know that we need to make games that can stand on their own as quality, entertaining experiences," Bartlett continues. "It's valuable to build rapport with the game-makers themselves, so that when you communicate serious messages, they're more likely not only to be heard but also to be acted upon."

'Cooking Mama: Mama Kills Animals'

The quality of PETA's games can be seen in their production values, and how they play out: generally funny as hell while simultaneously delivering serious truth bombs. From Pikachu telling a Mudkip he rescues, "I believe all pokémon should be treated with respect... even Mudkips," to the OTT guts and gore of Mama stuffing a turkey, there's a definite self-reflexiveness to it all, and it hits the sweet spot.

As a result, "regular" game studios are taking notice. "We've made six games with the company ThisIsPop.com, the devs who make some of the Adult Swim games," Bartlett says. Kitten Squad was created in partnership with experimental designer Luc Bernard. All the PETA games are scripted by Bartlett himself.

Article continues after the video below

Watch the Munchies guide to the north of England

While sugar coating the message with humour and genuinely fun game mechanics is important, PETA's focus is on animal welfare, and it's important that their games don't lose sight of that. But the question is: do gamers actually care? Are they playing these short fixes of interactive entertainment and coming away with their opinions changed? "It's always a challenge to promote a serious message to our tabloid-filled and entertainment-focused society," Bartlett admits. "But what other vehicle could we use to communicate a serious message that keeps you engaged for 30 minutes?"

PETA has plans to collaborate further with the traditional games industry, and hopes to influence studios to think twice about how they're depicting the suffering of animals. "We're happy with our current role of acting as a kind of animal ombudsman," Bartlett states. "Games can do so many wonderful things. But they don't need to depict gratuitous animal abuse."

This kind of thing is endemic in modern games, often slipping by under the cover of humour or mechanics. Take the whaling in Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag – "It's been estimated that for every animal a hunter kills and retrieves, at least two wounded animals die slowly from blood loss, infection, or starvation," Barratt tells me. The forthcoming Far Cry Primal invites the player to hunt and kill mammoths, and or the hilarious looking (but also incredibly disturbing, really) Thunderdome pits chainsaw-wielding bears against one another in cages.

Related, on Munchies: New Research Says Vegetarian Diets Could Be Worse for the Planet

'Pokémon Black & Blue'

Despite video games letting you do awful things to human limbs, and your protagonist occasionally being able to turn a rotting marmot into a shiny new holster, actual animal cruelty is rarely used as a backdrop in "serious" games. So what would be the ideal, gritty, triple-A alternative to PETA's Pokémon parody, Black & Blue? Or its equivalent of Call of Duty's infamous "No Russian" level?

"A realistically portrayed slaughterhouse – complete with animals being shackled and hoisted up into the air, having their throats cut and being bled out, often while they're still conscious," would do the job, apparently. Imagine the impact that could have in a big-selling release: "It could lead to a huge spike in orders for PETA's vegan starter kit," Barratt says. And a few more people turning vegan might not be a bad thing, considering the world's cattle alone consume a quantity of food equal to the calorie requirements of 8.7 billion people. That's more than the entire human population of the Earth.

So the next time you squee over a cute or badass animal in a game, spare a thought for the real ones. You might not be in a hurry to swap DOTA for PETA, but the group is taking all the right steps to making increasingly enjoyable and more sophisticated games built upon very relevant issues. And that's something plenty of games trying to elicit crocodile tears could learn from.

@MadQuills

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Oslo's ‘Racism Inspectors’ Are Policing Discrimination in the City’s Nightclubs

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This illustration, by Joshua Hanton, was commissioned for the Thump story 'Central London Nightlife's Racism Problem Is Worse Than You Think'

This article originally appeared on VICE Denmark

This week, our Danish colleagues heard that Copenhagen's Mayor of Integration, Anna Mee Allerslev, wants to outfit the city with "racism inspectors" – a team of undercover agents tasked with registering and fighting discrimination in the Danish capital's nightlife. The idea is to have young Copenhageners of immigrant backgrounds visit the city's bars and clubs to see if they are turned away at the door solely because of their skin colour.

The proposal is part of a larger plan of action to combat discrimination, to which the city council has allocated 4.9 million kroner (£511.850) in 2016. Having initially been voted down by the Danish right wing, who don't feel it is the city's responsibility to prod around Copenhagen's party scene, the initiative has now been revised and is set to have its fate decided by another vote on the 22nd of February.

A similar arrangement, however, has already been implemented by Denmark's Scandinavian brethren in Norway. The City of Oslo has been hiring people to check if bouncers are sending clubbers away because of their skin colour, since 2010. The punishment is a temporary suspension of the establishment's liquor license, which effectively means it must shut down until further notice.

The inspection of an Oslo nightclub, entails two groups of 2-5 people positioning themselves in the queue outside. The only visible difference between the groups – who pretend not to know each other – is that one consists exclusively of white people, while the other is made up of non-white Norwegians. The two groups are similarly dressed and also consist of a similar male/female ratio.

A total of 278 inspections have been carried out since 2010, with the anti-racism squad successfully clamping down on a total of 12 establishments. Gunnhild Haugen, the administrator in charge of Oslo's initiative, has no doubt that the plan has been working. Our Danish colleagues caught up with her to find out more about what these agents are actually up to in the queues of Oslo at night.

VICE: Why carry out these inspections?
Gunnhild Haugen: We're doing this because we receive a large number of complains from people claiming that they have faced discrimination at the doors of Oslo's nightclubs. But there is a huge amount of uncertainty surrounding how widely this is actually happening, so our initiative is also meant to discern the true extent of the problem. Racism is often hard to document. It's up to each individual to report it, and then to actually prove that the discrimination was based solely on the colour of their skin. That's why we feel it is our society's duty to get to the bottom of this.


It's true that keeping Oslo's nightlife clean costs money, but it's worth it. The benefits of battling racism obviously outweigh the costs.

How do you find the people who carry out the inspections?
For the non-white group we recruit students and people from activist organisations. This way we're sure to find inspectors that won't be recognised. For the group of white Norwegians, we use inspectors that work for the city.

How are the instructors trained?
We explain our objectives and the mission – what they're allowed to do and what they can't do. The inspectors we hire are primarily trained by our own employees. They are obviously strictly prohibited from inciting or provoking any action from the bouncers themselves.

How do you pick out their outfits? Are they all identically dressed – same shirts, same trousers, same shoes, same haircuts?
They're almost identically dressed – within reason of course. There are slight variations in the outfits. We dress them in a way that ensures that the establishments won't be able to claimthat Group 2 was denied entry because they were dressed differently. Then they get in line next to each other, and we see if both groups make it into the club.

How do you document the exchange?
We don't film or record anything. We carry out the inspection, write a report and present it to the nightclub in question, who are then allowed to comment. We have attorneys review the entire thing before we draw any conclusions.

Watch Our Interview with the Patriotic Preteen Girls Singing Donald Trump's Praises

How do the nightclub owners react, when confronted with your exposé?
No one has ever admitted to racial discrimination. They'll say things like, "They weren't adhering to the dress code" or that there was a guest list, or that it was a private party. But then it naturally becomes a problem for them that our group of white Norwegians was allowed to enter despite not being on the guest list or being invited to the private party. And they rarely have a good explanation for that.

What is the worst example of nightlife discrimination you've come across?
I think the worst kind of discrimination is the discrimination we don't see – in nightclubs or outside. There are people experiencing this up close and personally, and I think the worst happens when we're not around. But we're trying our hardest to expose the nightclubs responsible for discrimination.

You've carried out 278 inspections and found 12 examples of discrimination. That's not a whole lot. Is it worth the resources that are being spent on inspecting?
I think 12 cases in five years is a lot. It's true that keeping Oslo's nightlife clean costs money but it's worth it. The benefits of battling racism obviously outweigh the costs.

Has Copenhagen got in touch with you at all?
Yes. Copenhagen has showed great interest in the inspections initiative – they've asked about how we carry them out and what results they've yielded so far.

Thank you, Gunnhild.

I Doubled My Heart Rate Drinking the Three Most Sugary Drinks On the High Street

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Bad news, high street coffee fans: turns out those large buckets of hot, sugary beverages you've been drinking, in quantity, every day for most of your professional lives aren't actually very good for you.

The campaign group Action on Sugar recently analysed over 131 hot drinks available in some of the UK's many coffee chains, and found that over a third contained at least as much sugar as a can of Coke, and in some cases over 20 times more. The group's chairman, Professor Graham MacGregor, said it was yet "another example of scandalous amounts of sugar added to our food and drink".

But why is it scandalous, Graham? I know sugar isn't great for you – Jamie Oliver MBE taught me that years ago – but surely it can't hurt to treat yourself once a day, in the morning, on the way to work, when your brain feels like it's about to deflate like a sad old lilo without the help of a 16oz cup of caffeine and refined sugar?

Actually, according to nutritionist Carolina Brooks from London's Anthrobotonica, repeated long-term intake of sugar can lead to "chronic health conditions such as heart disease, cancer, diabetes, leptin resistance and obesity".

Okay. But just the one won't do me any harm, right?

Nope. Carolina says one high sugar blast can result in "diarrhoea, bloating nausea", making me feel happy for a bit, with the resulting crash leaving me "tired and hungry" and at a high risk of experiencing "headaches or weird joint pains".

I think "can" is the most important word there; I've definitely eaten a whole sharing bag of Minstrels in one go before and managed to remain relatively un-nauseous. Still, I wanted to put this health advice to the test by doing the exact opposite of what I'd been advised to do. So I decided to strap a heart rate monitor to my chest and go on a coffee shop crawl of the chains selling the drinks with the highest sugar content, to see both how weird they made me feel and if my heart rate would reflect all the bad stuff I was funnelling into my body.

The drinks of choice? Costa's "massimo" chai latte and Starbucks' "venti" white chocolate mocha and "venti" signature hot chocolate. Two Starbucks drinks actually ranked higher than those three in the official chart, but they were "hot mulled fruit" drinks only available around Christmas, so thankfully I could forego those and instead just consume the perfectly manageable equivalent of 57 teaspoons of sugar in one sitting.

My resting heart rate, pre-sugar, was 67 BPM, which is apparently "above average" (in a good way) for men of my age. So at least my ticker would be in a good position to put up a fight against the diabetes-inducing amount of sugar and caffeine I was about to consume.

Here's me, Tom, tackling one of Starbucks' venti signature hot chocolates, topped up with whipped cream. Firstly, hats off to them for getting my name right. Secondly, this venti signature hot chocolate with whipped cream was extremely big and extremely delicious. I drank it in about three minutes and loved every second of it. Sugar does a great job of making things taste good.

I waited a bit and took the second reading of my heart rate. It had shot up to an impressive 80 BPM, which may have had as much to do with the excitement as it did with all the sugar.

Moving on, it was time for Costa's massimo chai latte. As you can see, it's bigger than my head, and I have a large head. I started to struggle about half-way through this one, and slowed down a little – after just drinking a large hot chocolate I wasn't feeling quite as enthusiastic about making myself throw up in public.

But I persevered, and after finishing the chai latte and waiting a bit longer I measured my heart rate again. It was now a respectable 92 BPM – surprisingly not that much of a jump, given all the caffeine in this one. The bloating and nausea that the nutritionist had warned me about were definitely incoming, but I was yet to feel the joint pain or headache. Back of the net!

My final drink was the venti white chocolate mocha. If you're wondering why I'm in a lift, it's because the Starbucks I was at had three floors, and I thought I might as well have my heart attack at altitude. (Side note: why does anyone need three floors of coffee shop? Even two seems a bit excessive.)

After consuming my final 73 grams of sugar, I did not feel good. In fact, I felt very, very bad. But also, kind of excited?

AT THIS POINT MY HEART RATE HAD SHOT UP TO 105 BPM, NOT FAR OFF DOUBLE MY RESTING HEART RATE. I FELT QUITE DECENT AND MAYBE LIKE I SHOULD GO FOR A WALK, WHICH I DID, JUST KIND OF AROUND THE CORNER AND BACK AGAIN, WHICH WAS NICE. I FELT ALRIGHT. QUITE PRODUCTIVE. REALLY PRODUCTIVE, IN FACT.

I finished my walk at the office. As you can see from this photo, I was not looking great. A thick film of sweat had formed on my brow and I was finding it difficult to close my eyes for any meaningful amount of time.

My heart rate had actually come down to a reasonable 84 BPM, but also my heart felt like it was going to implode inside my chest and I was very aware of something dangerous happening in my stomach. Still no sign of the joint pain, but I definitely felt very sick.

My conclusion following this highly controlled scientific experiment? Don't drink the three most sugary drinks available to you on the British high street in the space of 20 minutes. It will make you ill. And also, I mean, maybe just try to consume less sugar? Scientists say that halving our sugar intake will stop us from becoming obese or dying slowly from heart disease, which sounds like a good enough reason to me.

Follow Tom on Twitter here.

More times we've done stupid stuff:

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VICE Long Reads: The 73-Year-Old Adventurer Sailing a 60ft Steel Whale Across the Atlantic Ocean

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Tom McClean and "Moby" the whale. All photos by Luke Montgomery.

I'm standing at the edge of a sea loch in the West Highlands of Scotland staring at a 60ft sperm whale, its huge tail rising up from the hillside of rock and heather across the water. Moving closer, I can see the painted foam that forms its skin and the ¾ inch steel panels that curve round its belly. It's a boat, but not like any other you've seen before.

Its creator, Tom McClean, is standing next to me. We're staying with Tom at the outdoor adventure centre he's been running on a remote shore of Loch Nevis, near the Isle of Skye, for over four decades. During that time he's been having adventures of his own: this extraordinary boat is just the latest enterprise in a lifetime of turning the excesses of his imagination into brute reality.

"I stayed an adventurer," he says. "Coming up with original ideas. Having a go at this and having a go at that."

Mainly Tom's been having a go at the Atlantic Ocean. In 1969, while a soldier in the SAS, he was the first person to row alone across the North Atlantic from Newfoundland to Ireland, a journey of over 2,000 miles, battling for 71 days through monstrous storms, waves the size of houses, freezing temperatures and a capsizing. After that there were four more solo Atlantic crossings, in crafts of various sizes and degrees of eccentricity. In 1982 he set the record for the smallest boat to ever cross the Atlantic, a 9ft 9in yacht called Giltspur. When the American Bill Dunlop crossed three weeks later in a boat 8 inches smaller, McClean sawed two feet off his with a chainsaw, went again, and reclaimed the record.

In 1985, he spent 40 days living alone on Rockall, the pillar of granite rock sticking out of the Atlantic a couple of hundred miles west of the Hebrides, in a self-directed (and largely fruitless) attempt to assert Britain's territorial claim to the islet. A couple of years later, aged 44, he was rowing the North Atlantic once more, crossing in 50 days to set the record for the fastest time. Then, looking for a marketing opportunity to get him on the ocean again, he went across the Atlantic from New York in a boat the shape of a beer bottle. Sponsored, oddly enough, by Typhoo Tea.

His latest project is "Moby", a 65-ton boat the size and shape of a sperm whale, complete with painted mouth and eyes and a blow-hole that shoots water high into the air. Again, he wants to cross the Atlantic: "I've put a big, big, effort into it all," he says. "A lot of people have a great pipe dream and of course they run out of money and it all fizzles out and stops. But we kept going. All we want now is someone to make good use of it."

The whale-boat was dreamed up when, home again from his adventuring in the mid-1990s, Tom found his thoughts returning to another attention-grabbing ocean crossing. "Moby" was Tom's nickname in the army because he was always "spouting off".

He designed the boat himself, after a nautical engineer he approached to draw up plans told him he was crazy. Work took place at a fabricating yard. "Why would you go to a boat-builder when they'll charge you 10 times?" he says breezily.

Since a successful inaugural trip round the British coast in the late 90s, Moby has been stranded in the Highlands. Tom's vision for giving her new life now is based on clean energy – he's replacing the "reliable, but noisy and smelly" diesel engines that power the whale-ship with electric motors to create a publicity vehicle for a zero-carbon environmental campaign: "You haven't got the dirty old diesels thumping around. You've got rid of them and the whale's an example for all boats. I really like the idea of a company getting involved, and saving the planet, and doing good." He hopes an NGO like Greenpeace or a renewable energy business will back the project.

It's surprising that McClean isn't already a national figure, particularly in a nation that so reveres its sailors and explorers. The audaciousness of his achievements seem a match for anything Sir Ranulph Fiennes has pulled off.

But then it's fair to say that adventuring isn't what it used to be. Scientific and technological advance have narrowed the opportunities for today's would-be Ernest Shackletons and Amelia Earharts. Adventuring has never been more popular: Grylls, Cracknell, Fogle, Mears et al. curiously echo the plucky public-school Victorian heroes of G.A. Henty's "books for boys" – yet their popularity is largely from the comfort of the living-room sofa. The world's jungles, mountains and exotic cities have become holiday destinations, available to anyone with a modest amount of money to spend. Even Everest has become a rubbish-strewn tourist trap. We live in unheroic times.

If someone calls me a big-headed bastard or tells me I'm fucking mad, I just feel good.

Ocean-rowing is now a sport. There's an annual sponsored race to cross the Atlantic with 30 rowing boats taking part, all equipped with GPS navigation, radio, solar panels and satellite-phones. It's still a huge challenge, but it's a long way from the leap into the unknown undertaken by adventurers like McClean, who played an important role in showing us that there are human qualities gained through adversity, difficulty and risk; virtues perhaps under threat in a cosseted technological age.

As Tom gives us a tour of the boat, he scrambles up Moby's tail. A short, stocky figure – he's only 5' 6" but gives the impression of huge physical strength and vitality. He's 73 years old but as eager for his next adventure as someone a tenth of his age.

When we sit down in the sitting room of the stone cottage he built himself, I ask him how he built the inner strength to get through the challenges he's taken on. "It's not a case that you're gritting your teeth and saying, 'I'm not gonna give in'," he says. "It's in your body, it's in your being. I don't think you can train for that... And that comes from when I was in the junior orphanage, Fegan's Homes at Yardley Gobion."

Born out of wedlock in Ireland during the Second World War, McClean was first put into foster care in Dublin and then brought to an English orphanage in Northamptonshire in 1947. Fegan's was a Dickensian institution of the sort that no longer exists: hundreds of boys, all with their own number, Bible classes every day, gruel. Fighting between the boys was a way of life, and so were the beatings he received from the adults in charge. His arrival there as a three-year-old was, he writes in his autobiography Rough Passage, "the start of what was to be almost 12 years of constant battle for survival."

"The staff used to hold my nose and shove gristle down my mouth," he tells me. "I'd bite their fingers and then they'd get the cane out and beat me, saying, 'You will cry!' And I'd say, 'I'm not fucking crying'. Well, I wouldn't swear, I didn't know what swearing was then."

There's no sense of anger or bitterness in his voice. He talks about his time in the orphanage with wry amusement, crediting the experience with shaping his stubbornness. "That's where it comes from," he says matter-of-factly. "You can cut my head off but I won't do it, you know?"

Most people, I suggest – let alone a small boy without a mother or father – would have been left traumatised. "They would completely flip," he says. "And they'd be saying, 'Why me?' So somewhere down the line it's just in me. I'm not saying I'm good. I'm just saying it is me. We're all different."

Tom left the orphanage at 15 and got a series of jobs on farms and building sites before he joined the army. He signed up with the Parachute Regiment and soon found himself in the Borneo jungle fighting Indonesian Communists: "We were doing four-man patrols, going over the border and doing 20 grid squares, making sure there wasn't anybody there you could shoot."

He quickly adapted to his environment. A bout of tonsillitis towards the end of the tour meant he was stationed as a liaison in a local village, where he learned to hunt monkeys with a local tribe, using a blowpipe that now rests in the corner of the sitting-room: "I enjoyed Borneo," he says. "I used to drink their drink. Rice and birds and things all fermented in a big pot. And you'd pass this bowl around and get pissed on it."


After further tours of Aden and Malaya, he returned to the UK to give civilian life a go. But it wasn't long before he was hankering for action again. A couple of months later, he drove to the SAS base at Hereford in his van and simply asked to go on the selection course.

Those who serve in "The Regiment", as former members like Tom call it, are self-motivated and self-sufficient, capable of surviving alone in the most hostile environments. They are also ruthlessly efficient killers. The selection course is famously brutal. Then as now, it involves gruelling marches across the Brecon Beacons, lone survival exercises that go on for weeks, and a nasty resistance-to-interrogation section.

"Yes it is tough, but when you're young you're super fit," he shrugs. "It's like being out on the ocean week in, week out, month in, month out, no radio, no noise. Did I ever give in? No. I didn't want to, I didn't feel under pressure. I don't know why I'm like that... I just have a quiet confidence that I wanna do it and I'm gonna do it. There's a laid-back attitude that comes with that."

Out of 105 applicants, only McClean and two others passed.

"It's not the big tough guy who's the first one to cross the end," he says. "It's his attitude, it's what motivates him. So when he's in a hole for weeks, just laying up, he's not uptight, he's just biding his time.

There is something of the Zen master about Tom. When would-be ocean-rowers ring him up wondering if they've got what it takes, he asks them a simple question: could they sit in a cupboard for three days?

He first decided to row the Atlantic solo after chancing upon a newspaper article in the Borneo jungle about two men he'd known from his parachute regiment who were planning to do it, John Ridgway and Chay Blyth. Rowing the Atlantic was one of the great remaining feats of adventure at the time. And a hugely risky one. That same summer of 1966, two British journalists, David Johnstone and John Hoare, had perished in the attempt after three months at sea when their boat was capsized in a storm.

Still, Tom fancied it: "I thought, 'Mmm I like the idea of that. I could do that'. Not in a big way. I knew I had something on my side with the inner me. Making use of what I am."

Tom was 26 when he set off in his small fishing dory on 17 May 1969. No one at that time had ever successfully rowed alone across an ocean. He had never rowed in open seas and knew almost nothing about ocean navigation. When he first decided to do the crossing, the only rowing experience he had was a couple of afternoons on the Serpentine in Hyde Park.

No training could have prepared him for what was in store though. His account of the voyage in his biography is one of unremitting discomfort, uncertainty and isolation. Everything is wet, all the time. Some nights it is only the constant bailing of seawater that prevents him from drowning. He was often tracked by sharks. He rowed on a solid wooden bench for almost two and a half months.

Was he scared that he might die at sea before he left? "The way I look at it is it's how good your boat is. If your boat's not gonna sink, you're gonna stay alive. Well, OK, until you run completely out of food and you don't catch any fish, then you're gonna die. But I suppose I was just 100 percent sure."

One part of the adventure was entirely out of his hands though. The previous year a man called John Fairfax made it known that he also intended to be the first person to row alone across the Atlantic. "A nice guy but a wild guy," reflects Tom. "Even wilder than me. Even madder, maybe."

Fairfax must be one of the most extreme characters ever to pick up a pair of oars. An inveterate gambler who saw out his days playing baccarat in the casinos of Las Vegas, he grew up in Argentina with his Bulgarian mother, spending months at a time as a teenager living in the Amazon jungle and returning to Buenos Aires to sell jaguar skins. Later, after blowing a $10,000 inheritance on a road trip across the US with a Chinese call-girl, he captained a ship for three years smuggling guns, whiskey and cigarettes all over the world. Laying low as a fisherman in Jamaica after the authorities had intervened, he decided to come to England to try and turn a childhood dream of rowing the Atlantic into reality.

Tom with the Giltspur, the smallest boat to cross the Atlantic Ocean, in 1982

By 1968, with Tom receiving permission for unpaid leave from the SAS, both men were making preparations. As soon as Fairfax had got his boat finished that winter, he wanted to be off, and so opted to take the east to west mid-Atlantic route from the Canary Islands to Florida. It meant he had a four-month start over Tom, who was taking the shorter, harsher route from Newfoundland.

The two men were out on the ocean at the same time for several months, but Fairfax finally reached Florida on the 19 July 1969. The very next day Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon. Even among the fanfare of that moment, it was a synchronicity not lost on the Apollo astronauts, who wrote a letter to Fairfax congratulating him on his achievement, concluding that they were "fellow explorers".

Tom landed on the sands of Blacksod Bay in Ireland eight days later. Unlike his rival, he never boarded any of the ships he came across, and never took supplies from them, getting across the surface of the ocean through his expertise in survival, his military discipline and a phenomenal level of determination.

Fairfax had said, 'I'm after a battle with nature, primitive and raw.' Did he feel the same? "If I was going out there to beat the Atlantic – no, no, that's the wrong approach. You can't beat the elements. You'll end in the bloody sea, you'll drown. No, no. I'll bob along with it. Go with it. Bend with the wind. It's more subtle. Your chances are greater."

You can't beat the elements. You'll end in the bloody sea, you'll drown. Go with it. Bend with the wind. It's more subtle.

How did he feel when he did it the first time? "Oh, it's everything, it's everything..." he says. "Of course the danger was, when I went and did it again, that I'd think I was super-duper and get it all wrong. But if you double up the safety, and you're at one with the..." He trails off. "All you've got is the sky, the sea, and a boat. A few bits of kit. You've got to be contented with nothing."

Given that he's thrived in what most would consider to be unbearable situations – does he feel different to most people? "Oh yeah. But we're all special. We're all different, so we're all special. The thing is not to get big-headed. No, I'm quiet with it in a way... Smug, in a sort of way." He laughs. "Because if someone calls me a big-headed bastard or tells me I'm fucking mad – I just feel good. I like that. Bring it on. I know other people admire me for it all, so I'm not mad."

Unlike so many other British sailors, adventurers and record-breakers, Tom has never received an official honour. Maybe he's too eccentric for it. He sees this as an honour in itself. He's a patriot but he's also an outsider who's never played the celebrity game. Although he happily welcomes groups to Loch Nevis and has done after-dinner speaking and motivational talks all over the country.

He characterises his approach to life as "make-do-and-mend," which is an accurate way to describe his lack of pretension, and absence of interest in the upmarket side of the sailing world – the yachting crowd. "I'm not trained in anything. But I'll make the bloody boat move forward," he says. "And that's, really, the way I've been all the way through my life."

It's how he made a home in the Highlands, building the adventure centre himself, making a family life with his wife Jill. Despite all his successes, for 20 years, he earned extra cash diving for clams in the loch: "I'm quite happy being here," he says. "I could be down in Brighton in a flat or somewhere but I'm here. I'd be happy in Brighton. I'd probably be flogging something, I don't know what. Doing a business of some sort."

Does he have a favourite of all his adventures? "The first one is the real adventure. Because you're doing the unknown. Adventure to me is the unknown. Just pushing yourself into the unknown."

Later that day, as I watch him standing in front of Moby for a photograph, the whale boat seems as much a work of art as the simple "marketing idea" Tom says it is. It's mythic dimension resonates with so much of his own life. Pioneering psychologist Carl Jung saw the story of Jonah and the whale as an archetypal legend, with the story of an individual being swallowed up by some creature and then spat out recurring in cultures and religions all around the world – whether a whale or a dragon or a wolf. He called it the 'Myth of the Night Sea Journey', with the hero undergoing a descent into darkness or temporary death. When he emerges alive after this encounter with the raw power of nature he's transformed, he has a wholeness he lacked before.

Whales have a powerful hold on the human imagination. You only have to think of the huge crowds drawn to the riverside when one was stranded in the Thames in 2006, or the reach of Herman Melville's Moby Dick. It makes it a potent image for Tom's environmental campaign. But it's also an allegorical representation of his own life – the orphan-boy spewed up by the Atlantic onto an Irish beach. A boy who underwent, in Jung's phrase, "The perilous adventure of the night sea journey, whose end and aim is the restoration of life, resurrection, and the triumph over death." Whether or not it's a symbol of Tom's own journey, Moby is his monument to the spirit of adventure itself.

Tom would, of course, downplay such high-flown talk. In a couple of weeks he's going on a camping trip with his two grown-up sons, crawling round the Peak District for three days in whatever wet and cold an English winter can throw at them: "It's still in me to be basic and simple and straightforward," he says. "I enjoy the simplicity of it all. Nothing grand. I'll be happy. They'll bugger off up the hill and put Radio 4 on and leave me alone and I'll have a kip for three hours. And they say, 'well what a boring fucking thing to do, just lay there and kip'. But I feel quite smug. I don't know. It's just nice."

@JoePBanks

lukemontgomeryphoto.com

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Narcomania: How Ketamine Has Made Its Way Back Into the UK

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It was the drug drought that inspired a thousand online moans. But this week, a survey of over 10,000 university students has confirmed what reports around the UK have increasingly hinted at: ketamine is once again in plentiful supply.

Student website The Tab's annual university drug survey found a significant rise in the number of students using ketamine in 2016 compared to 2015. The survey also found that students are now paying less per gram than the inflated prices dealers were charging during the drought, which hit the UK in the spring of 2014 and effected supply through most of 2015.

Ketamine's return, according to the survey, is most prominent at universities in Bristol, Manchester, Liverpool, Brighton and Newcastle – all cities well known for having historically high levels of ketamine use. More than half of the students surveyed at the University of the West of England in Bristol name ketamine as their university's "favourite drug". The survey found most students were paying between £20 and £29 for a gram of ketamine, more than the pre-drought price of £15 but less than the £30 to £50 being charged during the shortage.

This is all a far cry from springtime in 2014, when ketamine supplies started drying up, just as the drug was spiking in popularity in Britain. Out of nowhere, ketamine became hard to source, deals were heavily cut, underweight and triple the usual £15 gram bag price.

Users of online drug forums despaired, with people posting messages like "I've been looking at my living room for the past three weeks and it's just been normal. When is this going to end?"

Anyone boasting to have sourced some cheap ketamine that wasn't cut with its research chemical alternative, MXE, was immediately swamped by a deluge of PMs. There were maudlin pleas on Twitter; parody sites posting about fake charities set up to help drought sufferers; and the inevitable angry Hitler reaction video.

Nancy Lee, who died after years of ketamine abuse at the age of 23

The lack of supply, however, has done some people a favour. Pre-drought, for its potency, at £15 a gram ketamine was incredibly cheap. It enabled people to snort multiple grams of the stuff on a daily basis for relatively little cost, especially if you were funding your habit by selling it to other people. Some friends of Nancy Lee, who died in 2014 aged 23 after using ketamine heavily from the age of 16, told me that the drought had prompted them to ditch the drug for good, with some switching to valium and alcohol.

Before The Tab's survey, there were signs that the drought was ending and supply lines into the UK had been re-established. There were the surprise mass seizures at Secret Garden Party in Cambridgeshire last summer. People were getting slapdash with their powder: a holidaymaker allegedly fed some K to a pigeon in Ibiza (his lawyer later said it was salt, not ketamine), and a friend of Kate Middleton's family was caught with it all over his face. It appears that, since the festival season, there has been a re-awakening of the ketamine market, with easier availability, lower prices and higher purity.

It's hard to say definitively what initiated the ketamine drought and what sparked its return to the UK, but the answers are almost certainly found thousands of miles from Britain's streets. Analysts generally agree that the UK shortage was initiated by a clampdown on the diversion of ketamine onto the black market by authorities in India at the end of 2013.

Since ketamine has grown in popularity, particularly in the UK, India has been the main source of supply, from liquid ketamine bought in street pharmacies and smuggled in rosewater bottles, to larger scale trafficking of powder. Many factories in India – most notably in the western state of Maharashtra – manufacture tons of the drug for legitimate global markets where ketamine is used in hospitals, dentistry and in veterinary medicine.

Until the clampdown, it was easy for traffickers to obtain the drug from factories with few questions asked. The law change meant that ketamine became a far more heavily controlled drug, making it harder to obtain from high street chemists and commercially from factories.

Around the same time as the clampdown, 1,175kg of the drug – more than one million grams worth – meant for export to the UK, Australia and the US was seized at a chemical plant in Maharashtra. Then, in February of 2014, police uncovered a huge haul of 225kg of ketamine – the equivalent of a year of UK ketamine seizures in one day – in pallets of frozen food after stopping a VW van on the M6 outside Manchester. In June of the same year, ketamine was reclassified by the Home Office from a class C to a class B drug, meaning steeper sentences for those caught smuggling the drug into the UK.

The strangulation of supply became evident in the government's drug seizure statistics. Between 2014 to 2015 there were just 56kg of ketamine seized in England and Wales, a 70 percent fall from the previous year.

So what sparked ketamine's return to the UK's student halls, clubs and streets? The answer, as is often the case with the world's synthetic drugs market, can be found in China's vast network of underground drug labs.

While there's a high chance traffickers have found new ways to dodge the authorities to continue to divert Indian ketamine into Europe, the key driver behind the resurgence of supply in the UK is a rise in labs making the drug from scratch in China. Ketamine is not an easy to drug to make, but with the correct chemical know-how and equipment it's no harder than making ecstasy – something Dutch chemists have managed for the past couple of decades.

READ ON MOTHERBOARD: The Great K-Hole of China

Chinese authorities, responding to rising problematic ketamine use in China and Hong Kong, have tried to limit the availability of the drug's precursor compounds, such as hydroxylamine, a chemical more generally used in the production of nylon. Even so, the number of clandestine labs in China – the epicentre of global ketamine production and use – is rising. Analysts believe not all of the ketamine being pumped out of these places is ending up the nasal cavities of people in that region and that increased production of ketamine in clandestine laboratories in China has been a contributing factor to the end of the UK drought.

"It is highly likely that ketamine produced in Chinese labs is now reaching the UK market," Martin Raithelhuber, Illicit Synthetic Drug Expert at the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC), told me. Raithelhuber says the underground labs have proliferated across China in the last six years. Chinese authorities closed more than 100 such labs in 2014. The export of ketamine from China to Europe, he points out, follows an already established route of other relatively novel psychoactive substances, such as synthetic cannabis and cathinones (chemical "cousins" of amphetamines) including mephedrone.

It should come as no surprise that China, the world's biggest trading nation, is rapidly becoming the world's number one provider for the rising market in synthetic psychoactive drugs, of which ketamine is one of the most popular in Britain.

It will only be a matter of time – maybe a decade or two – before the global supply of plant-based drugs, such as cannabis, cocaine and heroin, is eclipsed by the trade in manmade substances designed to mimic, at a far cheaper cost, the effects of intoxicants that grow out of the ground.

This shift will turn China, a country with some of the harshest anti-drug laws in the world, into Earth's biggest drug dealer. If that's a situation the West dreads, then there is only one way of avoiding it – but it's not one governments in Europe and the Americas will be particularly keen to back: the legalisation of the plants that people have been using to get high for thousands of years.

@narcomania

For the full results of the Tab's 2016 drug survey, have a look at here, here and here.

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Sarah Reed's Mother Has Spoken to the Press for the First Time Since Her Daughter's Death in Prison

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The vigil outside HM Holloway Prison following the news of Sarah Reed's death (Photo by Chris Bethell)

When news emerged that 32-year-old Sarah Reed had died in her cell in HM Holloway Prison in London, depressingly familiar questions were raised about the treatment of prisoners with mental health problems, as well as the institutionalised racism faced by black people. Within days, a vigil had been held for Sarah outside the prison, with the crowd demanding to know why she was allowed to die while incarcerated at Her Majesty's pleasure.

On Wednesday, Sarah's mother Marylin Reed spoke out for the first time, in an interview for the Guardian. She tells of a "collective failure" by prison officers, doctors, social workers and lawyers.

Sarah's death marked the end of a long struggle for with mental health problems and police and prison system that repeatedly failed her. In 2014 she was the victim of a police brutality – CCTV footage emerged of Sarah being viciously beaten up whilst in the custody of PC James Kiddie, who arrested her on suspicion of shoplifting. PC James Kiddie was later found guilty of assault and suspended.

" kept writing to me and other family members saying, 'Please help me to get out of here; I shouldn't be in here; I'm not being treated," Marylin Reed told the Guardian. "Her priority in every letter was: 'I need my medication.'"

Sarah had a history of mental ill-health – the death of her nine-month-old daughter in 2003 hit her hard. Despite this, Marylin remembers a prison guard asking her: "Have you got any idea what's wrong with her?", which suggests a shocking ignorance of the situation.

Marylin says her attempts to help Sarah were "ignored by many, especially building up to the time of her dying".

The interview, which is as vital as it is harrowing, sheds further light on some of the urgent issues raised by Sarah Reed's death, as well as demanding more answers.

You can read the full Guardian interview here.

Previously on VICE:

#sayhername: Photos from the Vigil For Sarah Reed at HM Holloway Prison

Sarah Reed's Death in Custody Shows How Britain Treat Vulnerable Black Prisoners

A Deep Dive into the New England Football Team Official Euro 2016 Suit Photos

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Here we go, the lads. The England lads. The ruddy England lads. The lads. The boys. Our boys. Our lads. Our brave and glorious lads. Chris Smalling? Lad. Jonjo Shelvey? Chap. Joe Hart? Pally mate. Lad chap. Chap lad. Boy. Here they are in their new suits, from M&S, fresh to death for the inevitable anticlimactic Euro 2016 exit:

(All photos England/M&S)

From left to right: Gary Cahill (substitute Geography teacher who doesn't know where you are in the syllabus but is not here to take your shit, so just tell me who threw the chalk boys and you can all go an enjoy your lunch hour); Adam Lallana (sixth former who overdressed for his first day doing work experience at a garage); Ryan Bertrand (lad your girlfriend met in a nightclub and you are really not happy about them going to a wedding with 'just as friends'); Chris Smalling (estate agent who can't work keys); Joe Hart (over-muscular receptionist at a fancy hotel); Kyle Walker (baffled head boy); Harry Kane (one of the Kray Twins' mates who has a whole section in his Wikipedia entry about his scientifically impossible low IQ); Ross Barkley (serial Take Me Out afterparty shagger); Dele Alli (unknown British actor being applauded at the BAFTAs); Phil Jones (American Psycho fan who took it all a bit far); Keiran Gibbs (quiet boy up in the docks to explain why all his friends went missing after that day at the abandoned quarry); Jonjo Shelvey (Chicken Cottage bouncer). Our lads, our glorious lads. Take us to glory, O lads. Take us to the heights of a second round exit at Euro 2016 at the hands of France, and come home on the plane in your glorious M&S suits, and march out in silence to a press pack of hundreds, in sunglasses, with sad little owl Roy Hodgson leading you out, our lads.

Here's a closer look, at Kyle Walker and Joe Hart and Chris Smalling, looking for all the world like they're fronting a Daily Mail story about how men can still be friends with their ex even when they're in a new relationship:

Dele Alli has somehow managed to infiltrate the hardest gang at school and, as an undercover prefect, is gearing up to tell the headmaster just how many condoms full of paint Harry Kane is going to set off at the prom.

Jonjo Shelvey and Phil Jones – the two hardest doormen at Hedonism in Rotherham – are happy to go on the record to tell the police they saw Kieran Gibbs spiking girls' drinks even though he wasn't actually in the country at the time of the attack.

Gary Cahill is very sorry to the police for any trouble his young sons started with them fireworks and mark my words, officer, they will be dealt with to the full extent of my belt once I get the cunts inside.

These are our boys, our lads, our suit pals, our smart-end-of-the-smart-casual spectrum boy-lads, our chaps, the men who will inspire a thousand car wing mirror St George's flag impulse purchases from the Esso garage by Tesco, the men who will prop up with '3 crates for £25' summer beer-buying industry, the men whose names we will have emblazoned on the back of our £65 Nike home shirts, burning in nylon in the heat of the summer sun. We will turn pink in pub beer gardens for our boys. We will cry their names into the heat of the dusky night. These are the men who will joylessly exit our most hopeful tournament in a decade on penalties after an unsatisfying 0-0 draw. The names we will write into history: Walker. Cahill. Lallana. Roy Hodgson's brave and loyal boys. Our lions, our roaring lion-hearted boys, in their M&S suits, made up to special dimensions to envelope Phil Jones pink, hairless, insane body. Don't you feel proud to be English, to be alive? Can't you hear the opening strings of Jerusalem playing distant on the wind when you see these photos? Our boys, our brave boys. Support them proudly, loudly. Support them with every fibre and beat of your loyal English heart.

@joelgolby

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How the Tories Use the Language of Social Justice to Sell Us Social Injustice

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(Photo: Russell Watkins/Department for International Development via)

If you heard a politician declare theirs the "party for working people – today, tomorrow, always", which party would you think they're talking about? Perhaps Labour? Maybe some fringe socialist party? Surely not the Conservative Party, led by a descendant of William IV and stuffed with people who believe they were elected by God to rule?

Yep. David Cameron made this claim in his conference speech in 2015, and it's part of a well-honed Tory practice of capturing the language of social justice. But when Cameron talks about "working people" it's a far cry from the term's historical use. In the past it has been used by movements which considered unemployed workers as much a part of their constituency as those in work, and which wanted to change the whole way work and society was organised.

Instead, Cameron uses it to suggest those without work, or those on benefits, are parasites.

George Osborne's tweet on Wednesday

He's not the only one. George Osborne greeted this week's unemployment figures as a step on the path to "full employment" – a phrase generally associated with old-school Liberal politicians, like William Beveridge, one of the architects of the welfare system Osborne has taken the knife to. This isn't the first time the chancellor – who likes to think he'll be remembered as a great reformer – has co-opted progressive language to cloak a regressive policy. In last year's budget, he announced the creation of a new "national living wage" as a measure to tackle working poverty – except the figure was below the current living wage for London and will be hopelessly outpaced by rises in cost of living by the time it's introduced.

Is this just sleight-of-hand? A distraction while more serious economic changes go on in the background? Not quite: the right's use of this language is supposed to capture and neutralise any possibility it gives for criticism, and Osborne knows that the rickety nature of the UK's recovery is a real weak point for him. Much of it is built on new workers on zero-hours contracts, and a huge growth in workers registering as self-employed, lacking basic stability or rights like sick pay, holiday and protection against dismissal.

The TUC points out that underemployment – i.e. those needing more hours to get by – has risen from 2.3 million before the 2008 crisis to 3.2 million today. Anyone paying rent in a major city knows how much pay is eaten up by rent, and that the latter rises while the former remains stagnant. In such conditions, demands for a real living wage could be a powerful political demand, and extremely dangerous to the government. How better to defang such an attack than to simply claim you've enacted its demands, and maybe even borrow some of that righteousness?

Dragging up as a champion of the poor while cutting protections against poverty is pretty brazen. But it's part of a larger political strategy needed to cling on to power: the UK's Gini coefficient – the statistical method used to measure wealth and wage inequality – is the highest in Europe, higher even than that of the US, and only looks set to grow. The Conservative Party's donors (like Lord Farmer, donor of over £6 million) are right at the top of that wealth gap, and they intend to keep things that way. The party's leadership know that key to keeping power is locking away the racists, fruitcakes and those who charge duck houses and moat-digging to the public purse, and "detoxifying" the image of the party – and that means feigning concern about poverty to dispel the widespread belief that the Conservatives are the party of the rich.

There's some evidence this works, at least temporarily: Michelle Dorrell, the Tory voter who made headlines when she cried on the BBC's Question Time, feeling she'd been lied to over tax credits, is typical. It's not just that she was won over by repeated attacks on scroungers, but by Conservative claims to care about "genuine" hardship and their inflated reputation for economic competence. Those two go together, because when conservatives plant their flag on social justice, they do it by disconnecting traditionally left-wing issues from left-wing solutions like redistribution and social provision, instead claiming social problems can be solved by relying on the market to trickle down to those below.

Watch: Why the Deadly Asbestos Industry Is Still Alive and Well

Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith excels at this kind of redefinition, setting up a think-tank, the "Centre for Social Justice", to lend intellectual heft to his politics. The CSJ is a remarkable exercise in finding evidence to fit conclusions, with its "Breakdown Britain" report recommending marriage as a solution to all social ills, and sending its researchers to the US to formulate the basis for Conservative "workfare" policy. Both Duncan Smith, in his endless references to drug addicts and the permanently jobless, and his pet think-tank, promote the idea of a parasitical "underclass" that need shaking out of dependency, and use that analysis to gut social provision across the board. It didn't matter that the analysis was discredited by countless social scientists and historians: it gave IDS the chance to redefine "social justice" as a matter of personal moral probity, so cuts were a painful but necessary medicine, rather than a matter of entrenched wealth gaps, inequality of opportunity or exploitative employment – matters unexamined by the "independent" CSJ.

The commitment of the Tory party to sounding "socially just" waxes and wanes with the political weather: Cameron's 2010 "progressive conservatism" and his fondness for a limited raft of liberal reforms like gay marriage give way to concessions to the party's right on migration and social problems as needed. But their appropriation of social justice soundbites is only one aspect of a more general transformation in political language.

The Marxist critic Raymond Williams noted in the middle of the last century that transformations in language had political effects: for instance, the change from "user" to "consumer" affects the way we think of services, and how we think about them could be changed politically. That revolution in language got into full gear under Thatcher and Blair (we are all "customers" and "clients" now, even in healthcare), and this move – linking "social justice" with market solutions – is just its latest perversion. Language matters: to say justice and equality are the same thing as gouging rents and a dwindling social safety net is to admit, in Thatcher's words, that there is no alternative. We shouldn't let them use it without a fight.

@piercepenniless

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Are Companies that 'Blacklisted' Workers Trying to Buy Their Way Out of Justice?

Are the Tories Actually Looking Out for British Workers?

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The Media's Reporting of Murdered Mother and Sex Worker Jessica McGraa Is a Disgrace

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Jessica McGraa

A woman, Jessica McGraa, has been murdered in Aberdeen. She was found dead in a rented flat in the city centre. A man, Bala Wadzani Chinda, has been charged with her murder.

Jessica won't open the door of her London home again, won't cuddle her six-year-old son; will never get to see how his life turns out. She'll never speak to her friends again, never see the sky. She'll never listen to music again, or sleep in her bed, or laugh, or cry, or argue, or sing.

A woman has been killed and real horror has splintered its way into the world.

But you should check your grief, according to a sector of the UK press. You see, Jessica wasn't really a victim. Wipe away your tears. Didn't you hear? She was a prostitute. She died because she was immoral, a whore. She fucked for money, didn't you know? Her death is nothing much to mourn.

Some headlines, if you're feeling strong of stomach:

"Mum's double life as prostitute exposed when she was found dead" (Metro)

"£220-an-hour vice girl found dead in Aberdeen was on a two-day sex tour" (The Sun)

"Mother's secret life as a prostitute revealed after she was found murdered in a rented flat 600 miles from her home" (Daily Mail)

"Sex worker found dead in Aberdeen flat left young son at home as she went on two-day trip as £220-an-hour vice girl" (The Daily Record)

Murder! What a news hook. What a chance to cover the real story, which is, of course, what Jessica did for a living. She charged £200 an hour. Here's a gallery of pictures so readers can decide for themselves if she was worth it (the Daily Record). Comments below.

Remember your journalism course: news angle in the first sentence. Right then, to be clear:

"A doting mother's secret double life as a £1,800-a-night prostitute has emerged after she was found brutally murdered in a rented flat 600 miles from the home she shared with her young son." (Daily Mail)

"A mother was only uncovered as a sex worker after her dead body was discovered in a flat in Aberdeen." (Metro)

"A MUM found dead in a rented flat planned to sell sex there for two days." (The Sun)

The downgrading of victimhood for social undesirables is nothing new. Death, if you're a sex worker, a drug addict or a suspected gang member, for instance, is, to be blunt, kind of your own fault. Certainly, the public isn't encouraged to look at you with quite as much sympathy as your innocent neighbour. Well you're not exactly innocent are you?

At the time of Peter Sutcliffe's trial, in 1981, Sir Michael Havers, then Attorney General of Britain, made a public statement about the nature of the "Ripper's" crimes. Specifically, he made some handy suggestions for people who were wondering how sad they should feel about the women Sutcliffe has murdered, many of whom were sex workers. "Some were prostitutes," Havers said. "But perhaps the saddest part of this case is that some were not."

The gutter press has made much of the fact that Jessica was a mother. When a woman is murdered and leaves behind a child, this is of course the central heartbreak. But the angle taken by Metro et al is less focused on the tragedy of Jessica's son and more concerned with highlighting the immorality of supporting her child in this way to begin with.

"She described herself as 'classic, stylish, naughty, horny, sexy'," sniggered the Daily Record. "Topless photos on her profile page had her face blurred out."

It continues: "On the flip side, Jessica's own social media sites showed that she was a devoted mum describing her son as 'the love of my life'."

The flip side. Because motherhood is the polar opposite of whoredom. Never mind that an estimated 70 percent of UK sex workers are mothers, that rancid Tory cuts have disproportionately affected women leaving many desperate to find ways to feed their children. Never mind that, really, the story behind Jessica's death is that a woman was working two jobs to support her child. That she was forced by backward laws to work alone.

The Record quotes Jessica's ex-husband, Gareth McGraa, as saying: "She was a very pious girl. She dragged me to church even." Oh the contradiction. A Mary Magdalene indeed.

Watch: Why the Deadly Asbestos Industry Is Still Alive and Well

UK sex workers are 12 times more likely to be murdered than their non-sex working counterparts. Behind this lies stigma. Women are killed by men because men feel entitled, feel superior, believe women owe them something, are disposable things. And parallel to this – at the vortex of misogyny, racism, sexual shame and male supremacy – lies sex work, the most stigmatised occupation in the world.

There's nothing innately good or bad about the exchange of sex for money, or no more so than any other form of paid labour. It's just a transaction. But sex work doesn't happen in a vacuum and, as such, it is subject to the hierarchies and inequalities that shape the world. A special place of disgust is reserved for prostitutes in popular imagination; they're symbols of degeneracy, tragic victims, filthy whores.

Jessica's killer was supported by this social hatred. Maybe she felt like a morally uncomplicated target. And right there, backing up the killer's actions, validating Jessica as a culturally legitimate victim, are you, gutter press. Hang your heads in fucking shame.

@frankiemullin

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Parliament's New Sex Work Inquiry Looks Like a Witch Hunt

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Ban Sex Work? Fuck Off White Feminism

This Porn-y 70s Film Is a Mind-Melting Head Trip About a Witch and a Tiny Talking Penis

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All stills from 'Belladonna of Sadness.' Courtesy of Cinelicious Pics

The 1970s were perhaps the grossest chapter of recorded time, an era wherein the previous decade's flower power rotted on the vine and a politically engaged, protest-minded youth culture dissolved into an atmosphere of distinctly hostile decadence. By the time The Joy of Sex, with its illustrations of hairy fornicators, arrived on shelves in '72, sexual freedom had more or less given way to wanton Henry Miller–esque rutting. But for all its prurience, the decade that gave us Deep Throat, Hustler, and Plato's Retreat was also the last time when widespread experimentation dominated the mainstream in every corner of the arts, from the creator-driven films of the New Hollywood and rock 'n' roll's enshrinement of the drug culture in the popular imagination to the spectacle of perfectly normal people reading Gravity's Rainbow. It was also the golden age of cartoon sexuality: Adult animator Ralph Bakshi followed the success of the X-rated Fritz the Cat with burned-out, bell-bottomed exercises in hand-drawn hallucination like Coonskin and Wizards, and the magazine Heavy Metal cornered the market for large-bosomed women riding dragons and beating the shit out of pervy robots.

But the greatest legacy of the 1970s vogue for melding Saturday morning cartoons with Saturday Night Fever was in Japan, where anime succeeded the pornographic "pink film" in marrying transgressive and—especially in the case of hentai—graphic sexual content with eye-popping psychedelic excess. The genre's first masterpiece was Belladonna of Sadness (Kanashimi no Beradonna), a film that has a visual style so sui generis that I can only compare it to Sesame Street if Sesame Street were, as my paternal grandmother believed, a recruiting film for LSD-addled freakazoids and the Church of Satan.

Watch an exclusive trailer of Belladonna of Sadness:

When Belladonna of Sadness was originally released in 1973, it immediately bankrupted its studio, Mushi Production. Mushi had been founded in the early 60s by manga artist Osamu Tezuka, the creator of Astro Boy and Unico, and its style was largely responsible for establishing the frenetic big-eyes-small-mouth aesthetic of anime. But Belladonna actually has more in common visually with Aubrey Beardsley, Yellow Submarine, and the Tarot-card-looking output of the illustrator Kay Nielson. It's like Bakshi at his trippiest. But here I am talking like this is not a film that features a long scene of flora and fauna—giraffes, crocodiles, orange trees, you name it—emerging from people's orifices like something out of a Boschean Hanna Barbara, and, reader, that is precisely what I'm talking about.

The plot concerns a purple-haired witch named Jeanne and her seduction by the devil, inexplicably disguised as a little talking penis, who grants her supernatural powers. The remaining story line, if you can call it that, largely consists of Jeanne's arcane revenge on the nobles responsible for her violent sexual assault (in a ghastly early sequence that's made even more uncomfortable by her attacker's striking resemblance to Hordak from the old She-Ra cartoons). The film is a Joan of Arc pastiche, a musical, an exploitation picture, and a pornographic movie—but what it really is is an excuse for a breathtaking series of montages where a singing, dancing Black Death melts faces into skulls, kaleidoscopic specters of pop-art Americana signify the consummation of Jeanne's pact with the Evil One, and an assortment of infernal penises perform vicissitudes previously undreamt by any human penis, which is perhaps the greatest contribution an animation studio has made to creative physiology since Cab Calloway serenaded Betty Boop in Minnie the Moocher.

Even with so much stylized pandemonium, it can be hard to overlook how frequently Belladonna staggers over the line between transgressive pop-porn and the kind of outright misogyny that mars so many otherwise righteous female-driven revenge narratives. Still, given Jeanne's uncompromising ownership of her profane desires and independence from her milquetoast husband, it was miles more progressive than anything coming out of the West in 1972. The film's montages are bookended by still-life illustrations that resemble art-brut storyboards over which the dialogue is spoken. These episodes, with their curiously unfinished and sketchy figuration of witches and warlocks—like if Egon Schiele drew an edition of The Dungeon Master's Guide—aren't exactly the highlight of the film, but no worse than the old herky-jerky Marvel cartoons from the 60s. And anyway, the second half of the film is largely given over to the psychosexual exploits of Jeanne and her devil friend, who even in his final form retains a phallic hairdo and tells Jeanne, "You are even more beautiful than God," which I think is an awfully sweet thing to say.

Belladonna of Sadness is deserving of a place in the cultural memory because it marks the moment when the Times Square porn groove met manga cuteness, and because it happens to function as an omnibus of 20th century modes, including that of the Impressionist watercolor, the fuzzy Kandinsky-esque geometric dissolve, and the prog-rock album sleeve. It is also clear from some of the dialogue ("Ignoring status is against God! The work of the devil!") that the acceleration of Japanese pop culture was imminent, making Belladonna as much a social document as a benchmark in visual storytelling. And Cinelicious's gorgeous restoration from 35mm and subsequent North American release means that it is destined to take its place in the personal mythos of the retro-fetishist, high-trash, obscurist, art-creep demographic alongside recent rediscoveries like Holy Mountain, Possession, and Hausu.

In other words, Belladonna of Sadness is an answer to the prayers of those whose taste in film has evolved to the point where it echoes Jeanne's rejoinder to Satan, when he asks what she wants to do with her newfound energies: "Anything... so long as it's bad." Caligula would've wept.

J. W. McCormack is a writer whose work has appeared in Bookforum, the Brooklyn Rail, Tin House, the New Inquiry, n+1, Publisher's Weekly, and Conjunctions.

Cinelicious Pics' restored Belladonna of Sadness will screen on May 6 at Metrograph and Alamo Drafthouse in New York and San Francisco, respectively, and May 13 at the Cinefamily in Los Angeles.

So Sad Today: One Girl, Six Shrinks

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Illustrations by Joel Benjamin

It's the day we spend 20 minutes talking about Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin that I realize I can no longer afford my therapist. She doesn't take my insurance, and the cost is like a monthly payment on a luxury car. This is a different kind of breakup than I've ever had with a healthcare professional. I don't leave for lack of love. It isn't her. It's Blue Shield.

Now I look back upon our 50-minute sessions with euphoric recall. The beautiful boundaries we set: work boundaries, parental boundaries, sex boundaries. Granted, I never actually upheld any of those boundaries, but the inspiration was there. Most of all I miss her modality: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy combined with mindfulness, which did more in nine months to help me with my anxiety disorder than over a decade of psychodynamic therapy. I'd been in many long-term therapist-patient relationships, but it was never this good.

I approach the Psychology Today therapist finder as one might approach Tinder for the first time: nervous, excited, fantasizing about all of the hot possibilities for "doing the work." Yet my eagerness is quickly squashed by what I find. Have any of these therapists ever used the internet? How can I respect someone with an Earthlink email address? Many of them ask vague, open-ended questions: Not sleeping well or sleeping too much? Feeling depressed or anxious? A few of them are making duckface.

Like Tinder, the mediocre ones start to look good compared to the disasters. There's one therapist who seems like she has what I want: an anxiety specialist, well-educated, takes my insurance. I immediately position her as the therapy It Girl, a must-have. What if I don't get her? I must get her! I set out crafting the perfect email: one that depicts me as fucked-up yet also a real pleasure. She doesn't respond.

Of course, it's always the ones you don't want who want you. Dozens of responses from the Earthlink therapists come flooding in. One woman, we'll call her Therapist #1, has a crazy amount of availability. Like, every day of the week is free. Sorry, but you should at least play a little hard to get. I don't trust that she isn't desperate. But I'm kind of desperate too.

I schedule a session with her and it goes OK. She's compassionate, but definitely too deep in the let's-talk-about-Mommy game for me. Perhaps I am just comparing her to Judy. It's like when you get out of a relationship and your first new fuck is just mediocre. You just want to go running back to that last relationship. I try to remember that Judy wasn't perfect either. One time she even quoted ee cummings.

Therapist #2 doesn't give a shit about my childhood, which is a great sign. Also, her office is three minutes from my house so I try to make myself like her. But halfway through the session I notice that she has a dark hair-dye stain across the front of her scalp and forehead. I try to ignore the stain. Yet I feel like the stain is talking to me.

"Can you accept life advice from someone who can't figure out Clairol?" says the stain.

"Is that what this is really about?" I ask.

"I suggest you move on," says the stain.

I've never had an easy time breaking up with therapists, in part because they don't readily accept the ol' "it's just not working for me." They always want to process the breakup over the course of multiple sessions. You spend more time breaking up than you did working together. But with therapists #1 and #2 it's very easy, because it's less of a breakup and more of a not scheduling a second date. It's basically just swiping left. I start to think that maybe it's better to never commit to a therapist. Could I just see a different therapist every week for the rest of my life?

Therapist #3 has a good vibe—no hair dye issues, and she wears Dansko clogs, which is a good sign. Dansko clogs say, I am comfortable with myself and with my life. I prioritize myself and my own well-being over looking hot for others. I vote Green Party.

Unfortunately, Therapist #3's skill set stops at the clogs. She encourages me to do some "breathing work" around my panic attacks. Sorry, but no. There is nothing worse for a panic attack than focusing on the breathing. The more I pay attention to my breathing the more convinced I am that I'm suffocating. You have to ignore the breathing.

Therapist #4 is actually pretty great. She does a hybrid of CBT, mindfulness, and something she calls psycho-education. In a mere 45 minutes she makes it clear that I have no idea what any of my emotions are. The physical sensations I always interpret as "dying" are misplaced emotions. But do I want to feel my emotions? Fuck no. Also, now I'm really enjoying being single and playing the therapist field. I'm not ready to commit.

I arrive at Therapist #5's office sweating, having just self-flagellated myself by running for 45 minutes in the hot California sun.

"Oh," she says. "Did you just come from a run? That is such amazing self-care! Way to be kind to yourself! Good for you!"

Clearly this therapist has somehow never encountered eating disorders, body dysmorphia, or compulsive exercise. Doesn't she know anything? I don't run to be kind to myself. I run because I'm terrified. I imagine a relationship with this therapist in which she co-signs all my bullshit. I'd probably be dead in three months. Thanks, but I can do that myself.

Then, out of nowhere the It Girl therapist contacts me. It's like she senses all my dates—how popular I am—and now she wants a piece! But I wonder if it is too late for us to begin a real romance. How special can she be? In a sea of 50-minute appointments, all the therapists start to blend together. It's depressing, actually. I'd like to believe my therapist has special powers. But when I see how many of them there are, they just become a crowd of humans. It reminds me that no one knows the answer any more than I do.

What's also illuminating is how never-ending the therapeutic road can be. Like, I always start therapy with the hope of accomplishing a particular goal. Things begin so tangibly. But is there ever really an end? I could do a different kind of work with a different kind of therapist every day and there would probably never be a terminus. Where am I trying to get?

I suppose the end is not really the point. I guess you never get to that mystical place where everything is OK forever. It's always the hope when starting a new relationship that I am finally on my way—that this is it this time! But whether in love or therapy, it's annoying that no one else can fix me.

Follow So Sad Today on Twitter.


The VICE Guide to the 2016 Election: Jeb Bush Sure Picked a Weird Company to Get a Gun From

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This article originally appeared on The Trace.

Jeb Bush's unusual and unsteady campaign to win the hearts and minds of Republican primary voters took an odd turn on Tuesday when the former Florida governor shared an image on social media of a .45-caliber handgun engraved with "Gov. Jeb Bush," accompanied by a one-word caption: "America."

Photos of Tasmania’s Sad, Burned Out Wilderness

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All photos by Rob Blakers and Greenpeace

On January 13, a series of dry storms passed over Tasmania, setting fire to the state's northwest with lightning strikes. These spot fires smoldered through some 73,000 hectares of alpine vegetation and temperate rainforest, a lot of which will come back slowly, or not at all.

Much of Tasmania's World Heritage area is too wet and high-altitude to burn, allowing plant species to evolve without fire. While these conditions have helped to create distinctive forests, they've also left the place vulnerable to climate change.

In the past weeks, there's been a lot of blame leveled at climate change for the current condition of the World Heritage area. Of course, climate change is the sort of insidious threat that can't be held definitively responsible, but things like warmer springs and summers, which allow peat and forest landscapes to dry out, coupled with an increase in storms, which provide a source of ignition, make it a prime suspect.

Tasmania's forests are precious because they evolved in isolation, unaffected by settlement until recently. The heritage area's 1.6 million hectares contain some of the deepest caves in the country and some of the oldest and tallest living plants on the planet. Then there are hundreds of archaeological sites, many holding evidence of how indigenous people lived through the last ice age.

For scientists and conservationists, these photos depict a journey toward an extremely sad future.

Post Mortem: Tattoos, Diseases, and Skin Pickings: A Museum Explores the Importance of Skin

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A woman with syphiloderma. All images courtesy of the Mütter Museum

Skin is perhaps the most versatile part of the human body: It regulates the body's temperature, it can signal internal disease, it can become artwork. At times, human skin has even been used to bind books and create drums (so useful!). Because skin is so cool, it's earned a new permanent exhibit at Philadelphia's Mütter Museum, which opened over the weekend.

The Mütter Museum is well-known for its collection of medical oddities: Among its more famous items are Grover Cleveland's jaw tumor, a slice of Albert Einstein's brain, and a 7'6" human skeleton, the tallest on display in North America.

"Our Finest Clothing: A Layered History of our Skin" lives up to the museum's provocative reputation. The exhibit features an array of tattooed human skin, wax models and illustrations of various skin diseases, and a large jar of of skin pickings donated by woman living with dermatillomania, a psychological condition involving obsessive skin picking. The goal of the exhibit, according to the museum's announcement, is "to explore the biology, pathology, and cultural aspects of skin from both a historical and contemporary angle."

I reached out to curator Anna Dhody to find out why she had chosen skin as the centerpiece of the exhibit.

VICE: What's the scope of how skin is talked about in this exhibit?
Anna Dhody: We talk about, for instance, just what is skin. We have a few fun skin facts. One of the ones I particularly like says, "In the time it takes you to read this panel, your body will have shed over 30,000 skin cells." It takes about a minute to read that, and you'll have shed 30,000 skin cells. An average human will shed about nine pounds of dead skin cells in a year. And it takes about a month for you to regrow. Your whole skin regenerates in that time.

We have skin and culture—body modification involving the skin, tattooing, piercing, scarification, things like that. Think about how many people in the world are tattooed or pierced. I think 85 percent or so of Americans have at least an ear piercing. These are all things that directly affect your skin, and I think we deal a lot with skin and culture—with these body modifications, we have some amazing tattooed skin on exhibit that I think people are really going to enjoy. There is a small section on dermatology, but in this particular exhibit, I wanted to get away from "ologizing" it too much.

A preserved tattoo in the collection

How did you get the preserved tattoos in the exhibit?
The tattoos came as part of a larger donation from a medical institution, and we were very, very happy to accept them. Unfortunately, when they came to us, they had been either found as a collection, or they had somehow been disassociated from their provenance, which means that what we know about those specimens is only what we can see. Looking at them, we've had people that are very knowledgeable in historical tattoos say that these are quite old—maybe over a hundred years old. We're in the process of hopefully getting a researcher who is going to come in early April and do a write up for us, so we can get more information about them.

You also have a jar of skin pickings on display. Tell me about that.
It's a little bit outside the norm of the traditional content of the skin exhibit. from a very nice young lady who informed me that her "roommate" moved out and managed to take everything except this jar of skin. And did I want it? And of course, this raised a little red flag, because I'm like, "Really? Your roommate, huh?" I was intrigued, and I didn't immediately respond. I did some research, and, ultimately, I said, "Yes, I'll take it." A couple weeks or days passed, and I got this package in the mail—two Trader Joe's organic strawberry preserve jars containing the skin with a wonderful note saying, "Yeah, you know how I said it was my roommate? Well, it's me."

The jar of skin pickings

Wow. Why was she picking her skin in the first place?
This is a woman, who has dermatillomania and is acutely aware, knows that she has it. According to her, she has the condition contained where she only picks the skin off of her feet. You'll notice that some of the pickings are darker in color than others, and that's during the winter when she was wearing black socks. very detailed letter—very interesting.

These kinds of donations—tattooed skin, skin pickings—seem very personal. How did your colleagues react to these items?
I mean, I got a lot of flack from my co-workers who—believe it or not, even in this museum—were a little skeeved out by this jar of human skin. For me, what this enables me to do is something that is very hard for other medical museum curators to do, which is to talk about a mental condition while having a very didactic physical representation of it that the person can see. You can't bottle depression; you can't bottle schizophrenia and show it in a way that is really evocative. So by having this jar of skin and then talking about dermatillomania, I'm able to educate our visitors about this mental condition in a way that is very powerful.

A woman with zoster, a reactivation of the chicken pox

Besides mental disorders, the skin diseases are also a big part of this display, right?
Our director, Robert, had skin cancer, and his skin cancer slides are in the exhibit, along with his account of having skin cancer and what he went through to get rid of it. It's in a third person narrative, but it's a personalization of that. If you poll, most of the people coming into the museum are either going to have had it or know somebody close to them who had skin cancer. So, we do talk about that, and I think looking at his actual slides is really interesting when viewed in context with the panel. Otherwise, you're just looking at these slides, which might not be so interesting. But then you realize with this panel that, Hey! That's the director of the Mütter Museum's skin right there. I think that was really interesting.

What about more obsolete skin diseases—things like syphilis, smallpox, and other ailments we fortunately we don't see much of any more?
.

A person with dermatitis exfoliativa

Have you had any skin donations offers from living people? I mean, are people coming to you with their tattoos?
We have a lot of people approach us, but then they find out that the burden—both financially and logistically—is on them. I mean, obviously, people want to do a full body donation, but that's just not possible. We don't have the room! Then they say, "Well, you can just take this bit and piece of me," and we're like, "We do not have the proper medical or scientific facilities to make that kind of extraction." So we tell them that this is something that just has to be supported financially entirely on your part, and we're sorry we just don't have the ability to support that.

I do get things like, "I have had my husband's gall bladder." Those are primary donations that are a little bit easier to obtain and those I'll try to do. But, in terms of people willing things after they die, it's just a bit too much logistical rigmarole to go around to that. People tend to think they're a little bit more special than they really are. And that sounds like a horrible thing to say. I hate to be tell people that. We're like, "You know, thanks, but no thanks."

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Follow Simon Davis on Twitter.

The VICE Guide to the 2016 Election: Donald Trump Is Beefing with the Pope Now

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Stunningly realistic Photoshop image via Flickr users Mike Kalasnik, Michael Vadon, and Catholic United Financial

Read: Donald Trump and the Art of Having No Shame

During his flight back to the Vatican after a week-long trip in Mexico, Pope Francis suggested to reporters that Donald Trump's border wall plan is decidedly un-Christian, the New York Times reports.

The Catholic Church's cool-ass pope was careful not to actually say that Trump isn't Christian because he "was not going to get involved" in the shit show that is the current election season—but Pope Francis made it clear that "a person who only thinks about building walls, wherever they may be, and not building bridges, is not Christian."

"I say only that this man is not Christian if he has said things like that," the pope continued.

Regardless of the delicate way the pope avoided questioning Trump's religion directly, the business mogul and GOP presidential hopeful came back swinging.

"If and when the Vatican is attacked by ISIS, which as everyone knows is ISIS's ultimate trophy, I can promise you that the Pope would have only wished and prayed that Donald Trump would have been President," Trump said in a statement on his website. "For a religious leader to question a person's faith is disgraceful." He then called the pope a "pawn" being used by the Mexican government.

The whole concept of Donald Trump beefing with the pontiff is honestly fucking amazing—maybe Francis is the babyface this election needs.

Montreal Scrambles to Get Name of Filmmaker and Alleged Pedophile Off City Property

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Claude Jutra, pictured above, has been accused of being a pedophile in a new book. Screenshot via YouTube

On Wednesday, Montreal Mayor Denis Coderre said the city will begin the process of renaming parks and streets dedicated to Claude Jutra, a legendary Quebec filmmaker and also an alleged pedophile, according to a new book.

The claims, featured in a new biography by film critic and author Yves Lever, occupy only a small portion of the book—around five pages in total. Yet they have dominated headlines due to Jutra's prolific reputation as Quebec's "father of cinema."

The book details sexual encounters between Jutra and boys as young as 14 and 15—with the author alleging that, based on interviews he conducted with some of Jutra's victims, his sexual interest in children had an effect on his filmmaking. This week, more allegations surfaced after La Presse quoted a confidential source who said he was sexually assaulted by Jutra from the age of six, and that the abuse escalated over the period of a decade.

"In his films, nothing is very explicit or pornographic," Lever writes. "We simply notice the pleasure in showing beautiful adolescents, sometimes nude."

Coderre, who responded to the allegations today by announcing the city would be removing Jutra's name from various locations across Montreal, called the claims against the filmmaker "indefensible."

"I always said you can't defend the indefensible," Coderre said. "And we have to act quickly."

Québec Cinéma, the organization in charge of the Jutra Awards named in his honor, hastily announced today that it would be renaming the award show, which is set to happen on March 20. The move follows pressure from Quebec Culture Minister Hélène David to kill the Jutra name.

"I'm very, very troubled and so sad by what I have read," David told reporters this week.

"We have to take it seriously, and given the insupportable criminal act, we have to ask that the name of the Jutras be changed."

According to the CBC, the organization has not come up with a new name for the show or the name of the trophies themselves, but the move accompanies a similar announcement from the Academy of Canadian Cinema & Television to strike the "Claude Jutra award" from its list of awards.

"Our role is not to do an inquiry about this or organize a trial," Patrick Roy, president of Québec Cinéma, said during a news conference Wednesday afternoon. "We are just making a decision about an award today. That's all we are doing."

Jutra, who killed himself in 1986 after being diagnosed with Alzheimer's, has a legacy that carries serious weight in Quebec film. Mon oncle Antoine (1971), in particular, is regularly cited as an essential piece of Canadian filmmaking, garnering inclusion in the Criterion Collection. His films throughout the 70s and 80s won numerous provincial and national awards, and he worked internationally with the likes of Francois Truffaut.

Arnie Gilberta, a Canadian filmmaker who knew Jutra, told CTV that it was known in the film community that Jutra was attracted to males who tended to be in their teenage years, but that, to his knowledge, they were not children.

"They weren't children. I mean they were young men, 16, 17, 18," he said.

The allegations against Jutra claim that he had relationships with both those who worked with him, and that he also had relationships with the children of fellow actors.

Follow Jake Kivanc on Twitter.

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